Why You And Your Best Friend Shouldn't Be Roommates

By Ashley Paskill

Having a roommate that you do not know can seem overwhelming and scary. If you and your best friend go to the same school or live in the same city, you may be tempted to be roommates. However, this may not be the best idea. Several issues may arise that may dampen your friendship, no matter how strong it is. Some friendships may survive, but there are reasons you should take at least some time to consider other roommate options.

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Annoying habits

If you have never lived with your roommate or even had a sleepover with them, you may not know some of their habits that you do not see. Their room may be cluttered and they only clean when you come over. You may not know some of their habits, so at least having a conversation before moving in together can help you determine if it is worth the hassle of putting up with the habits. On the flip side, your own bad habits will be on display for your best friend to see. You were able to hide the habits before, but living together means that they will be exposed. If you are not ready for this, consider moving in with someone else.

Less space

While moving in together means you will see each other more frequently, this can lead to issues if you get into an argument with each other. When you got into arguments before, you could go your own separate ways to your own living space and cool off. If you live with each other, this becomes a lot more difficult since you are living in close quarters. Consider how many arguments you have had and how you have dealt with them before. You may also just need some alone time, even if you and your friend are not arguing. Think about yourself and your relationship with your friend. If you are someone who needs space, especially after a fight, consider a different living arrangement.

Money talks

When you live with a roommate, you have to talk about money. Rent and utility bills need to be paid, and grocery shopping needs to be done. It is likely that you and your best friend have never talked about financial topics before, but moving in together would require these conversations to take place. If bills are not paid or your friend owes you money, your relationship may be strained.

Distractions from tasks

Living with your best friend may seem like a dream come true because you will get to spend a lot of time together. This is true, but you will both have things like studying, chores, and other tasks that need to be done. If you and your friend can get these things done without distracting each other, great. If not, consider a different option. You need to be sure you are putting your schoolwork and other tasks first before having fun with your friend.

Boundaries and rules

Like with any roommate, you will need to set boundaries and rules with your best friend. Some people and friendships can handle setting these things in place, but for others, these things may seem like an attack on the friendship. Have a conversation with your roommate about rules and boundaries, including what things are shared and who does what chores. Know that you will both have to be firm with keeping these rules and boundaries. Setting boundaries and rules may seem like they would put a damper on your friendship, but not having these in place may do even more damage. If you are not comfortable having rules and boundaries in place, moving in with your best friend is not for you.

Missing out on opportunities

One of the best things about college is getting to meet new people and have new experiences. If you have your best friend as your roommate, you will miss out on meeting other people who may be your roommates otherwise. While you do know your best friend and know that you get along, part of growth comes from meeting new types of people and figuring out how to get along with different types of personalities. Just because you have other people as roommates does not mean that you cannot spend time with your best friend. Different people will allow you to experience new things and push you to grow in ways that spending time with the same people do not.

No one to vent to

Living with roommates has its struggles. If you live with your best friend, you will not be able to vent to your friend about your roommate issues as they are your roommate. This will leave you struggling to find someone to vent to. Even having other friends nearby is not the same as venting to your best friend. However, living with someone else allows your best friend to be someone you can vent to when things get tough.

Living with your best friend may seem great, but it likely will not be all that it cracks up to be. Struggles will occur that you have never faced, and this may strain your relationship.