College Roommate Tips
Friendsgiving Traditions to Start With Your Roommate
Those who are close to their family homes will find it easy to go home for Thanksgiving. However, those who live farther away may have to stay in their dorm or off-campus housing for Thanksgiving break. While it can be frustrating and sad to not spend the holiday with loved ones, there are ways to have “Friendsgiving” traditions with your roommate.
Dining hall meals
A lot of schools will serve a Thanksgiving meal for those unable to go home for the holiday. Instead of sitting in your own living space, consider going to your dining hall to eat Thanksgiving there. This saves you time that would be spent prepping and cleaning up. You will also get to be with other people who are in a similar position to you. Many schools serve these meals for free and you can bring containers for leftovers, so you will have meals for days to come.
Potluck or group cooking
Thanksgiving can be a difficult meal to put together, especially if you are doing everything by yourself. Either have a potluck or invite a few people over to help you cook. If you decide to have a potluck, consider keeping track of who is planning to bring what to make sure everything needed is accounted for and so you know what you might have to make. Ask family or friends who are not hosting Thanksgiving to let you borrow silverware and plates so you have enough. Have your roommate help set up the table and clean up afterward.
Craft your décor
Buying Thanksgiving décor from the store may seem like a good idea, but it can get expensive. Chances are, you or your roommate have craft supplies that you can use to make your own décor. If you do need basic craft supplies, check your local thrift store before going to a craft store. Look for ideas online to see what you can make with what you have. Set aside a day to do your crafts. After you graduate, you will have Thanksgiving décor that you can take with you to help you remember the fun traditions you had with your roommate.
Football frenzy
One of the highlights of Thanksgiving for many people is the football. Make a tradition to either play a game of football or watch a game on TV. If you decide to play yourselves, see what teams are playing and play as those teams and watch the game on TV to see if the outcomes are similar. Get trophies or ribbons to give to the winning team as a reminder of the fun and their accomplishment. Have hot chocolate when you finish playing the game.
Turkey trot
If you and your roommate are into running or walks, look to see if your college town or city has a Turkey Trot or similar event on Thanksgiving. Many of these events support charities, so you can build a fun tradition that gives back. You can go train with your roommate, especially if your college has a gym on campus. Even when you graduate and move away, you can each do your own local Turkey Trot and keep each other accountable during training, and celebrate the success of completing it.
Volunteer
Even if you are not into running or walking, there are ways to give back on Thanksgiving. See if your local soup kitchen needs help serving meals on Thanksgiving and get involved with your roommate. Meals on Wheels may also need people to deliver meals, but this is mostly if you have a car on campus with you. You can even pick up trash at a local park or beach. There are organizations that accept cards for active military personnel and veterans, so you and your roommate can spend part of your Thanksgiving making cards to send to these organizations. Giving back is an amazing way to count your blessings and pay it forward for everything you are thankful for.
Gratitude traditions
Thanksgiving is all about being grateful for what you have and celebrating the little things in life. Consider starting a tradition of practicing gratitude on Thanksgiving. Get some construction paper and make a chain of paper, each strip of paper stating something you are thankful for. Even writing lists in a journal or a notebook can be beneficial. See who can create the longest list! Trace your hands and make a turkey. On the feathers and the body of the turkey, write out things you are grateful for. Date it and frame it as a keepsake for years to come. Before you start eating, go around the table and have each person share something they are grateful for. Write thank you notes to people who have influenced you in the past.
Spending Thanksgiving away from family and loved ones can be challenging, but you can create fun traditions with your roommate to help make the best of the situation.
Coordinating Group Halloween Costumes With Your Roommates
Happy Spooky Season! As you and your roommates prepare for Halloween parties or trick-or-treating, the idea of group costumes has likely come up! However, sometimes coordinating the perfect group costume to do with your friends is hard! After all, you want to be unique, but not so unique that no one knows who you are. In addition to that, there’s agreeing on who to be and how to dress, which is much easier said than done. Don’t get scared before the tricks start!
There are some easy steps to coordinate a group Halloween costume with your friends or your roommates that will leave everyone happy. Here is how to coordinate group Halloween costumes with your roommates this October.
Image via Pexels
Discuss Favorite Media
First, discuss some of your favorite shows, movies, games, or books. If you all have similar interests or tastes, this will be easy! Think about iconic groups that you and your roommates would love to dress as. If you don’t share a common interest, your costume ideas do not have to be from the media! They can be groups such as condiments, college majors, or types of cats! This is the best time to get creative as you brainstorm!
If everyone is still having trouble coming up with a group costume you all like and agree on, there’s nothing wrong with searching the World Wide Web. Be aware that, if it’s online, it’s likely been done hundreds of times and you can risk having the same costume as someone else. This isn’t bad, but just decide how important originality is to you and your group.
Whether you have hundreds of ideas or just a few, start to narrow it down. You can do this by either having each roommate strike down one idea at a time until you have one left or you can spin a wheel to see what gets picked or knocked off. Even indecisive people can do this!
Share Pictures of Inspiration
Once you have all chosen a theme or group to dress as it is time to look at inspiration for your costumes. Search for other similar themes to see how you can put your own twist on it! This will also help get you on the same page of what aesthetic you’re going for this Halloween season. The best sites to search are Pinterest, Instagram, or a quick Google search which might lead you to another helpful site. Search for people who cosplay those characters or groups or see what kind of costumes are readily available.
Decide How to Dress
Now that you’ve looked at thousands of pictures for inspiration, you and your group have narrowed down how you want to look. You still need to decide how exactly you are going to proceed. Are you buying costumes, making them yourselves, or doing a very simple version in clothes you already have? This is an essential step so that everyone is on the same page and matches. If one of you shows up in street clothes while the other is in an elaborate costume, you’ll all be embarrassed!
If you decide to buy or make your costumes, you need to discuss everyone’s budget. Someone with a higher budget can buy a much higher quality costume than someone with a lower one, which can lead to financial insecurity and embarrassment. Go back to the pictures you found and try to guess the price or what you could reasonably find or make.
Make Roles Clear
Next, you need to make the roles in the group costume very clear. So many group costumes have been ruined because two people thought they were the same character! Everyone should decide who they want to be. If two people want to dress as the same character, it needs to be clear who takes what so you don’t have a sticky situation. The best way to do this would be to write it out in a group text or hang it up and ensure everyone sees it by interacting with the message or the board.
Keep Each Other Updated
Lastly, as you all work on your costumes, you need to keep each other updated. If you need help, if something is not shipping in time, or any other problems you run into, it is best that you tell your roommates right away. If you need to switch costumes, it is better to have a few days’ notice than an hour’s.
By showing each other the steps you’re following into completing your costume, you can get feedback or advice so that you guys match. Plus, this helps with the potential double or mismatched costumes. It might even be a fun idea to work on your costumes together while you play Halloween movies and eat candy. What better way to prepare for the season, right?
6 Tips to Vibe Better Your New Roommate
Roommates. We need and appreciate them, but the experience with new ones can be unpredictable. Some people create lifelong friendships, while others avoid each other at all costs. A common challenge among college students, a recent Georgetown University study indicated that 1 in 3 college students in the US have reported roommate problems. If you are on the ladder end and are not vibing well with yours, don’t contact your student services department just yet. We have created this list of tips to up the vibes and create harmony in your space with no confrontation needed.
1. Accept your differences and similarities
Let’s face it, it is impossible to have commonalities with everyone. That is the beauty of life, but it can be tricky when you live with someone completely opposite to you. In times when compromise is necessary, like decorating or lifestyle habits, it is best to accept your differences through respect for each other. You decorate your side to your liking, and they do the same. They listen to their music through headphones, and you do the same. You get the idea. If the vibes aren’t right because of your differences, it is time to consider stepping outside your comfort zone.
2. Join online support groups
It may sound bizarre, but online support groups are a great resource for seeking advice for unique roommate situations. You may be surprised to find out that someone could be experiencing the exact same. They are also useful in making new friends in your area and discovering new places you and your roommate can explore. Of course, putting things into perspective doesn’t hurt either. There are plenty of roommate horror stories that will make you feel better about your current roomie, even if you aren’t particularly vibing with each other.
3. Discuss proper living etiquette
Speaking of respect, it is crucial to establish proper living etiquette while rooming together. Rinse and load the dishes you use, replace the toilet paper when it’s empty, put the seat down after using the bathroom, keep the space tidy, and agree on dividing household chores. On the surface, these should be common sense. However, some people need a reminder every once in a while. Don’t be afraid to either leave a few sticky note reminders around the space or send a quick text if your roommate is not doing their part.
4. End the situation-ship
Maybe you aren’t vibing with your roommate because the relationship has become a bit complicated. Whether you had a few arguments or had an accidental hookup, complicated situation-ships can transpire quickly and be very awkward. The best plan of action is to address the elephant in the room and squash any beef. (P.S. If you haven’t yet but are considering it, this is your reminder it is never a good idea to pursue a romantic relationship with a roommate.)
5. It doesn’t hurt to share
Chances are you will inevitably share some items with your roommate. It may be a pair of jeans, shampoo, or some seasoning. It is one of the many expectations when living with a roommate. If you can’t pinpoint the cause of the weird vibes, it could be that you have yet to have this conversation. Nobody is eager to share items they paid for, but this is one of those situations where the phrase, “pick your battles” applies. You don’t have to share personal items, but it is always nice for common household items. You can even establish financial responsibility for replacing shared-purchased items such as toilet paper or hand soap.
6. Embrace the situation
For as much as you try, you may not be able to clear the air and vibe perfectly with your roommate. In situations you can’t control, it is a good practice to take things less personally. Okay, your roommate is rude or doesn’t hold themselves to the same cleaning standards; that is not your problem or your responsibility. The most you can do is communicate. If you work on focusing less on the annoyances, you might feel a little more peace with the circumstances. On the flip side, if you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling unsafe with a roommate, you must act on it and there may be resources available to you to help.
The weird roommate vibes don’t have to be permanent. After you consider implementing these tips into your routine, you should hopefully see some improvements and maybe even a friendship in the future. At the end of the day, your roommates for a reason. You might not be each other’s cup of tea, but you’re still doing each other a favor. Remember to remain optimistic; this is only a temporary situation. Once you implement the basics of respect and communication, the rest will come easily.
Best Apps For Living With Roommates
Whether you are living with a roommate for the first time or have had roommates in the past, rooming with someone else comes with challenges. From chores and shopping to paying rent, it can be difficult to navigate various aspects of living with roommates. Luckily, there are phone apps that can help bring peace and harmony to your living situation.
Splitwise
One of the most challenging parts of living with roommates is splitting finances, from groceries to rent. Splitwise is an app that is available on both Android and Apple phones. It allows you and your roommates to create a group to track who owes what. The app also sends email notifications to remind roommates who owes what amount. You can split the costs however you decide, reducing the stress of calculating the numbers yourselves. The app even allows you to track recurring expenses. The basic app is free, but you can upgrade to the pro version for even more features.
IOU
As a college student, you have a lot going on and have a lot to keep track of. This means that you may find it difficult to remember that you owe your roommate money. Your roommate may also forget that they owe you money as well. IOU allows you to keep track of the debts that are owed to you as well as the debts you owe. The app is free and is available on Android and Apple phones. Forgetting debts can cause issues between roommates, so having an app to remind you will help reduce stress and drama.
OurGroceries
Grocery shopping is challenging enough when you have to do it for yourself. Adding roommates into the mix makes it even more difficult, especially with different wants and needs when it comes to food and meals. It can also be difficult to keep track of what you run out of. OurGroceries allows you and your roommates to create a collective shopping list for everything you all want and need when you go shopping. If only one of you is going shopping, the other can even add items to the list when you are at the store! The app is free and is available on Android and Apple devices.
Venmo
Venmo is an app that allows you to send and receive money easily. It is similar to PayPal in many ways. This app is helpful if you owe your roommate money or vice versa. You can link your bank account or credit card to the app to transfer money. It is easier than worrying about having cash or checks on hand to give to roommates. It is available on Apple and Android phones.
TinyScan
As a college student, you will likely have a lot of important documents, especially if you are living in a rental property. TinyScan turns your phone into a scanner to help organize and digitize these documents. You will want, and need, documents such as leases and roommate agreements readily accessible so you can access them as you need them. TinyScan allows you to have them in a digital form so you do not have to dig through paper files to find what you are looking for.
Listonic
Like OurGroceries, Listonic allows you and your roommates to create a community shopping list that can be accessed from any device. The app automatically sorts the items in your list. You can also create lists for special occasions. The basic version of the app is free to use. However, the app does have a subscription fee that removes ads and unlocks more features. Listonic is available on both Android and Apple devices.
Cozi
Cozi is an Apple and Android app that lets you keep in touch with your roommates and organize various aspects of your lives. It helps organize activities, to-do lists, grocery lists, and more. It is a great tool to help organize chores as well. The app even has a section that has recipes and a journal. Cozi is free for the basic version and Cozi Gold has a fee that unlocks even more features to help you and your roommates stay organized and connected.
Tody
Your parents may have made you a chore chart when you were growing up, but as an adult, it can be overwhelming. Tody allows you to make a streamlined chores list for you and your roommates to share. You can create tasks with varying frequencies and sort tasks by room. The app allows you to schedule tasks and even send reminders. Tody is available on both Android and Apple devices. It is a free app, but there is a premium version that you can use.
Staying organized while living with roommates can be difficult. Luckily, there are a variety of apps that allow you to stay organized and communicate effectively with roommates.
Tips on How to Solve Any Roommate Disagreements
Conflict between roommates can be extremely difficult to navigate. Unfortunately, living in close quarters with another person can easily lead to disagreements over something that seems so trivial. Roommate disagreements not only negatively affect your personal relationship with the roommate, but can also negatively affect how comfortable you feel in your own living space as you live with the person while you are trying to navigate whatever dispute you find yourselves in.
Keep reading for tips on how to solve any roommate disagreements and help maintain a peaceful and comfortable living space for all roommates.
Don’t brush things under the rug
If you or your roommate are the type of person who is more likely to be avoidant at any sight of conflict, roommate disagreements can easily escalate. Between friends or peers, brushing over a disagreement can work if the source of the disagreement is somewhat trivial and likely won’t come up again. Between roommates, however, disagreements can come up time and time again over the same issue or build up into a larger argument.
Don’t brush things under the rug when it comes to roommate disagreements. Even if the disagreement is small, take the time to address it between roommates while everyone is in a calm state of mind and can come to the discussion with a clear head.
If you continuously brush disagreements under the rug, they may only come out when one roommate has finally had enough and brings them all up with plenty of anger and frustration. If they feel like they’ve been slighted over and over again, they may come into a discussion more hostile than friendly, and be less likely to see the other side of the argument. Taking the time to navigate disagreements, no matter how small they may seem, will establish respect and understanding between roommates. Setting a precedent like this can help make future disagreements easier to address and navigate if you’ve already done it before.
Be Proactive and hold roommate meetings
When you first moved in with your roommates, you likely all got together to discuss your expectations for your roommates and the living space you share. You likely discussed cleaning, guest policies, quiet hours – things that typically can cause roommate disagreements.
The initial house rules shouldn’t be the end-all discussion for rules, but just a basis for your time living together. Routines and expectations can shift, and allowing your roommates to discuss changes needed for your shared space can help prevent or solve any disagreements.
Schedule regular meetings with roommates – it can be something as simple as a shared meal where everyone can sit down and chat about anything of concern.
Allow these meetings to be an open floor for any roommate to bring up something that has been bothering them and use the time to discuss how to solve the issue at hand. This can help roommates who feel unsure of the best time to bring up an issue, or allow them to bring up an issue at a time where they feel more calm than when the issue first popped up.
Seek the common ground
Depending on the disagreement, one roommate can be on one side of an issue with another roommate on the complete opposite side of an issue. Picking one side of an issue over the other can lead to a very upset roommate that feels like their side was left ignored, and can leave the disagreement feeling unsolved even if you feel like picking a side effectively should have ended the disagreement.
There’s a large chance the roommate who didn’t get their way still feels the same way about the issue as they did prior to the disagreement coming up, so the agreed upon solution may just be prolonging the disagreement until it comes up again.
To avoid this, look at the issue at hand to identify a common ground you can land on. Sure, neither roommate are getting their ideal outcome, but both parties will have to agree to lose out on a little bit so they can gain a compromise on the issue. The outcome may take some getting used to if it’s something they weren’t expecting, but it can help everyone feel like their opinion was taken into consideration and respected.
Involve a third party
If you find yourself in a disagreement where neither party looks like they are willing to come to a compromise, it’s time to seek a third part for mediating. If you are living in student housing, a mediatir can be your resident advisor, or it can be a mutual friend. Avoid having someone that is entirely one person’s connection if you or your roommates feel like that person is more prone to taking their closer friend’s side.
Pick a mediator that can help see everyone’s side and help guide the discussion as you navigate the disagreement.
Roommate disagreements are bound to happen at one point during your time together. With these tips in mind, you can help everyone navigate through disagreements and come to a solution.
Budgeting Tips for Living With a Roommate
Budgeting can be so hard! After all, you have already taken the ultimate budget tip by living with a roommate. Still, there are other things you and your roommate or roommates can do to help your budget even further. It might seem like the best thing to do is to split everything in half, but this is not always the case. In fact, you could be losing a lot of money that you do not even realize. Here are the best budgeting tips for living with a roommate that just might end up saving you hundreds.
Finding the right roommate
If you do not have a roommate yet, one of the best things for a budget is to find the right roommate. Find someone who is responsible with their money and has a good history of paying bills on time. After all, if they are late on payments and rely on you to cover for them, you will have to save even more money in an attempt to save your butts which can cause a lot of stress. If you already have a roommate, let’s hope they are a good one! If you are struggling, now is the time to have a conversation about the following tips so that you can save money and budget better.
Take salary into consideration
One of the best things you can do is compare salaries or wages to decide how much you both should be paying in bills like rent, electricity, or more. Most people decide to split rent in half, but if one roommate makes double or triple the other, it is best for both of you to split the bills not equally, but equitably. For example, rent can be one-third of what each roommate makes. That way, it is not a bigger deal for one roommate or the other and you can each budget accordingly for your remaining salary. Not everyone will be in favor of spending more on rent, but an open conversation may lead to something in everybody’s best interests. If your budget is tight, even just a small percentage less of rent can help with everything.
Talk about groceries
When you go grocery shopping, do not just split the bill in half and call it a day. You should only pay for what you are using. A gallon of milk that you both use? Sure! But your roommate’s box of slim jims that they use for late-night snacking? You should not be paying half of that! This is not to say that you should only buy things that you need. If someone is going grocery shopping, there is no harm in picking up everything needed for the apartment, but keep that receipt! Go through and split what is yours, your roommates, and communal. Request the money for your roommate’s items and half of what you share. That way, you are not paying for groceries you do not use.
If that is too difficult, there are alternatives. You can take turns grocery shopping and call it even so long as you are both contributing equally.
Create a joint budget
While shopping, you might both have different ideas of what to grab. When toilet paper is on the list, are you both grabbing one that costs the same, or is one of you grabbing something more expensive? Even if you split the cost of something like that, pennies add up and can end up pushing you over your budget. Agree on how much you are okay to spend on groceries that you split, cleaning supplies, and other things you two may share. If someone wants to go over the joint budget, that is then their responsibility.
Discuss what not to share
Even though you and your roommates might be using something, there is not always an obligation for both of you to pay. For instance, a new TV or a new furniture item. If one of you buys it but plans to take it when the lease is up, then they should be the one to fully cover the cost. Do not pay for something you will be losing in a year!
Record all payments
Lastly, the best budgeting tip not just for your household but for you is to keep track of what you are spending and where. Whether this is an app, a spreadsheet with names, dates, costs, and what you buy, or a jar where you keep receipts and go over them at the end of the month, you need to keep track of everything. This way, you can see what might need to be cut going further or what you are paying for that you are not using.
With these tips in mind, budgeting will not be easy, but it will be easier. You and your roommate can do this and save money together while also sticking to your respective budgets.
Balancing Schoolwork and Roommates: Strategies for Success
Living with a roommate is a part of the college experience, whether you live in the dorms or in an apartment. Even if you get along with your roommate, things can still be challenging, especially when it comes to getting schoolwork done. However, with hard work and tools, you can be successful at getting work done and having a good relationship with your roommate.
Communicate
As with any relationship, communicating clearly and effectively with your roommate is essential for maintaining the relationship while being a good student. If they are doing something that bothers you, communicate this with them so the issue can be addressed before things get beyond repair. Before moving in with each other, talk about boundaries, expectations, and rules. You may even opt to make a roommate agreement that lays out how you will deal with things such as rent, people coming over, and homework schedules.
Meet before moving in
Before you move in together, make sure you meet in person if possible. This will allow you to get to know each other better and you better be able to tell if you are compatible. Your roommate can say things over messaging or on the phone, but the truth will come out more when you meet face to face. You will also be able to walk each other through your routines. Make a roommate agreement to work out school schedules and boundaries for schoolwork. Find out if your roommate is a night owl or a morning person. If you are opposites in terms of favorite times of day, figure out how this will impact both of your schoolwork and make a plan accordingly. Doing this extra step will help you both be successful in your academics.
Set a schedule
If you and your roommate get along really well, it may be tempting to spend a ton of time together and do things on campus together all the time. However, doing so will leave you both with very little study time, which will negatively impact your grades. Instead, each week, look into different events around campus that you are interested in going to together and pick out one or two. You can then build your studying and homework schedule around these events. At the beginning of the semester, go through the syllabus from each class and put due dates for readings, assignments, and exams in your planner. This way, when you are looking at potential events, you can see what you have coming up and how much time will be needed for projects and assignments.
Keep your class schedules separate if possible
While this may be difficult if you and your roommate are in the same major or program, having separate class schedules allows you each to explore your own interests and form relationships with other classmates and professors. If you take all of your classes with your roommate, you may be tempted to only talk to them in class. You may also have difficulty paying attention if you take classes together. One or two of the same classes each semester is fine, but try to branch out and do things on your own as well. You will become more confident in your abilities and have more to talk to your roommate about since you each have your own classes.
Room layout
If you live in a dorm with a roommate or an apartment that has an open floor layout, it may be difficult to find privacy and quiet from your roommate. This may make it difficult to concentrate on schoolwork, especially if your roommate is noisy or distracting. In these cases, find a place on campus, like a café or a library, where you can get your assignments and studying done without being distracted by your roommates. If this is not an option for you, have a designated space for doing schoolwork and let your roommate know when you are doing schoolwork. Consider investing in noise-cancelling headphones to help block out noise from your roommate.
Chores
Chores such as cleaning and grocery shopping are essential and need to be shared equally. At the beginning of the semester, sit down with your roommate and discuss how these things will be completed. Look at your class syllabi and factor in schedules and deadlines so that schoolwork is getting done on time and is not being sideswiped by chores. If you feel like you are constantly pulling your roommate’s share of the chores, set up a time to discuss the problem before it impacts your schoolwork. If you or your roommate have a particularly rough week in terms of schoolwork, consider taking the other’s chores that week. Just be sure to trade weeks so it stays fair and you do not become resentful of each other.
Living with a roommate can pose challenges, even academically, but taking steps before your schoolwork is impacted is crucial for your academic success.
6 Ways to Find Alone Time When Living with Roommates
Living with roommates is not always easy, especially if you are someone who appreciates and values being alone versus spending time with others in a social setting. Between having guests over and constant noise floating around, it can become easy to be overwhelmed in your own space and find little time to yourself when sharing a dorm or apartment with other people.
If you’re someone who is more on the introverted side, likes alone time, or needs to unwind after a long day or week, here are six tips to make your life easier!
1. Be Open About Your Boundaries: The key to any great roommate relationship, especially is communication. To help find alone time, it is important for you to establish clear boundaries with your roommates about what makes you uncomfortable as well as your general approach to things. Needing space, having quiet time, staying home rather than going out, having company over, etc., are all things that you can discuss with your roommates to help them understand your needs and foster an environment that makes everyone happy together. Though it might be awkward or uncomfortable to discuss these things at first, getting these boundaries out in the open and off your chest is far better than having a resentful relationship with your roommates.
2. Show Friendliness to Your Roommates: Whether you are more introverted or just need time by yourself, finding time alone doesn’t mean that you have an excuse to ignore or be disrespectful to your roommates. Though it is obvious, remember to be friendly with your roommates. A simple smile and wave when you cross paths in your apartment can show your roommates that you respect them enough to engage with them, even on a small scale level. In addition, you can be friendly with your roommates by doing small acts of kindness, like making them coffee in the morning, preparing a meal while they’re gone, tidying up if they have been busy, or even writing a handwritten note of encouragement.
3. Set Aside Time to Recharge: It can be easy to become overwhelmed when you do activities that require a lot of social interaction, such as going to a party, having a group study session, or simply hanging out with your roommates at home. Regardless of the activity, it is important to take time to “recharge” and unwind alone. This could take form in many different ways but can include listening to music, watching a movie or TV show, journaling, doing crafts or coloring, reading a book, or taking a nap. Allowing yourself to calm any feelings of anxiety, stress, or overstimulation can help you better cope with your roommate relationship in general!
4. Find a Space to Decompress: Figuring out activities to de-stress and decompress is oftentimes far easier than settling on a space to do so. Sharing an apartment or dorm with your roommates can make it difficult to have privacy and get some time to yourself. An important part of managing living with roommates is finding your own safe space to be by yourself, which can be anywhere! Per OutPost, “Whether it’s a local coffee shop, park, or even a mall you like to wander around, there’s always somewhere quiet to be found in the throng of a city. Take a stroll around your neighborhood or Google ‘quiet spaces’ in the area for inspiration.”
5. Purchase Noise Canceling Headphones: Living with roommates can often get loud, and if you’re someone who is sensitive to loud sounds like talking, laughing, music, the TV, etc., you can easily become overwhelmed in your apartment. You can gently ask your roommates to lower the volume at nighttime or during hours you need to study/work, but it is definitely worth it to invest in a pair of noise-canceling headphones. This way, you can enjoy the peaceful sounds of your favorite music or a YouTube video while your roommates can carry on without worrying if they’re being too loud.
6. Venture Out of Your Comfort Zone Occasionally: Though you may have lifestyle differences with your roommates, you can still enjoy quality time with them- after all, you live together! Reserving alone time for yourself is important, but it can also be good for you to take a leap and go out of your comfort zone on occasion. Arrange a weekly date with your roommates to catch up, cook a meal together, sit down and watch a show that is everyone’s favorite, or even take a trip to the grocery store! Anything that gives you some quality time with roommates is a great idea. Doing this can not only break up your solo routine, but it can also make your roommates feel closer to you.
When sharing a space, you are bound to have differences with your roommates, but these six tips will help you manage these differences while building a healthy relationship with them and giving yourself time to be alone!
Vetting a New Potential Roommate
If you’ve ever talked to anyone who has lived with a roommate, you can surely recall at least one complaint associated with their roommate situation. Some are lucky enough to have small complaints limited to a dirty dish or two, while others are unfortunate enough to experience roommate situations that had them forced to look for alternate housing options as soon as possible. If you are currently looking for a roommate, you know how important it is to find the right roommate to make your future living arrangements a positive and comfortable one.
Regardless of how well you know someone, you do not know them as a roommate. Even your closest friends could turn out to be the worst roommates if you guys do not have common ground in your living situation. Whether you are looking for a roommate within your already established friend circle or searching among strangers, vetting a new potential roommate can be a stressful task. Keep reading for tips on vetting a new potential roommate, including critical questions to get to know them as a roommate.
What is your schedule like?
Depending on your potential living space, you may be in very close quarters with your roommate. If you expect to have your own bedroom and bathroom, the schedule of your roommate may be less of a worry, but if you are sharing a bedroom and/or bathroom, scheduling can be a quick cause of conflict. For example, if you have a roommate who is a night owl while you are an early morning person, running on two different schedules can cause conflict when one roommate wants peace and quiet while the other goes about their daily routine.
On the other hand, if you are sharing a bathroom and have to get ready at the same time for classes or work, you don’t want to have a roommate hogging the bathroom when you need it to get out the door on time. Discussing your schedules with a potential roommate can help you figure out if you are compatible and avoid conflict from the get-go.
What is your expectation of the living space?
Everyone has different expectations of their living space, and having different expectations from your roommate can also become a source of conflict. For example, one roommate may want the apartment to be the meeting spot for their friend group, meaning multiple people will be over at the drop of a hat. This can mean multiple people in your living space at any given time, contributing to noise and mess levels on any given day. Another roommate may be a homebody and want a private living space where guests are more limited.
If these two different roommates were to live together, one can imagine the type of conflict that would come up daily. Ideally, you want a roommate that has a matching expectation around how their space is going to be treated – will it be more private between roommates or is it going to be the designated hangout space with overlapping friend groups?
What is their cleanliness expectation?
Anyone who has shared close quarters with another person understands that each person has a different understanding of “clean.” Some will not bat an eye over cluttered surfaces and overfilled trash bins, while others have the expectation that cleaning is an essential part of everyone’s routine.
Whatever the case may be for you, it’s an important question to ask a potential roommate. You don’t want a roommate demanding you to clean up after yourself when you don’t see an issue, or on the other hand, you do not want to be constantly picking up after another roommate who is okay with having a messier space.
Are they the type to wash their dishes immediately after using them, or do they think it’s okay to leave them for later in the day or overnight?
What is your worst habit?
No one likes to point out their weak points or bad habits, but they will quickly become clear when you live with someone and see them on a daily basis. Asking a potential roommate what their worst habit is can give you a clear and honest idea of what kind of roommate they can be, and if their “issues” are actual issues to you or something you do not see as much of an issue.
What are your pet peeves?
Similarly, understanding what your potential roommate’s pet peeves can help you paint a clearer picture of whether or not you would get along as roommates. For example, if their pet peeve is someone who leaves dirty dishes and you know that is a habit you have never been able to kick, you likely will not be getting along as roommates.
Vetting potential roommates can be a bit time-consuming, but will be well worth it when you find yourself getting along with your roommates and living comfortably in your new space.
How to Establish New Roommate Routines in the New Year
By Aidan Cannon
The new year is upon us! Many people take this time of year to open themselves up to new opportunities and experiences, or try to make a change in their lifestyle to establish healthier habits. If they repeat these new habits consciously over and over again, they will soon become second nature and another part of their normal routine. Of course, creating new routines is easier said than done, as you need to train your mind and body to get used to a new method of performing tasks. While it can be difficult enough for one person, it gets even more complicated when a roommate, or roommates, get thrown into the mix. Trying to create new ways of doing things in an apartment can be difficult if all parties aren’t on the same page. If you want to establish new routines for you and your roommates this year, this is how you do it.
Image from Pixabay
Talk about what you want to improve
The first thing you and your roommates should do is sit down and honestly discuss what you would like to change. These conversations can often be uncomfortable, as you don’t want to single anybody out for certain issues affecting the rest of you, but it’s important to be forthcoming with your concerns if you want any real change to be enacted. Talk about what needs to change and share actionable steps to achieve these goals. If you can’t think of any actionable steps, brainstorm with your roommates to find solutions. As important as it is to speak and share your ideas, it’s equally important to be an active listener. Your roommates may share that you have been doing something that has been bothering them. Instead of taking offense, consider how your actions have been making them feel, and offer solutions to make sure it doesn’t keep happening.
Leave notes to remind yourself and others
Establishing new routines can be difficult! It involves retraining your body and mind to operate differently than it has become accustomed to, and that involves a lot of conscious practice. A great way to remind yourself and others of your new routines is to leave notes around the house. These will ensure that you are adhering to the new decisions you made and prevent you from falling back into bad habits. For example, if you and your roommates have an issue with taking the trash out, you can leave a note on your trash can saying when to take it out. It can say what day of the week to dump it, at what capacity level you should dump it, or whose turn it is to take it out. Likewise, if you all struggle with turning out the lights when you leave, a note can be placed on the front door, reminding everyone to check the lights as they exit the apartment. Small reminders like these will help everyone stick to the new routines and help avoid any unpleasantness that comes from in-person confrontation.
Be flexible
Sometimes, life may get in the way of your new routines. The life of a college student is filled with stress, including schoolwork, jobs, and interpersonal relationships. If it becomes clear that you or your roommates won’t be able to stick to certain parts of your new routines. feel free to adjust them to be more accommodating. Oftentimes, people have a very rigid idea of what success looks like when it comes to forming new habits, where they must stick firm to what they originally laid out and any deviation is tantamount to failure. In reality, this is not the case, and it’s more important that you practice mindfulness and adjust your goals to be more achievable than sticking to your original plan. In essence, it’s better to find a way to continue your routine less strenuously than it is to give it up entirely. For example, if you and your roommates had committed to an every-other-day gym schedule, but that becomes untenable due to other factors, decide on a new less regular schedule so you can all continue to go together.
Plan a reward for yourselves
Since sticking to new routines can be challenging, you should plan a reward for yourself and your roommates if you all can keep to them. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, but it’s a great feeling knowing you’re being recognized for your efforts. Consider planning a fun activity or night out if all of you commit to the new routine for a set amount of time, like a month. This will help motivate everyone to stick to the routine and encourage them to come up with other ideas in the future.
The new year provides a great opportunity for you and your roommates to establish new routines, but sticking with them is another matter entirely. Luckily, with smart planning and open communication, you can turn your new routines into lifelong habits.
