College Roommate Tips

10 Things an Introvert Should Look for in a Roommate

By Victoria Robertson

Beginning your college experience can be stressful, especially when you haven’t ironed out the details related to roommate selection. In fact, choosing a college roommate can be one of the most stressful items on your to-do list.

While there are many options available to college students now in terms of picking roommates, such as social media, there are still limitations to these options if you aren’t familiar with what you should be looking for in a roommate. In fact, looking for specific things in a roommate is a challenge, no matter who you are.  

This challenge is made even more difficult if you fancy yourself an introvert, as many individuals do. Introverts tend to have difficulties in sudden changes, specifically related to living situations. They also tend to isolate themselves, which makes living with another individual more difficult.

So how does an introvert pick the right person to live with? There are many items to consider, but, to get you started, here are ten, specific things all introverts should look for in a roommate.

1. Outgoing personality

First and foremost, you don’t necessarily want to look for another introvert. In fact, you should look for an outgoing personality in a roommate.

They say opposites attract, and when you’re dealing with two people in a living situation, having that balance can be helpful to everyone. When you need to socialize more, they can pull you out of your shell and when they need to stay in and focus, you can help them as well.

While not all outgoing personalities will mesh well, it is a quality that you don’t want to count out either. Basically, having that mixture in regards to personality will help you to expand your horizons and may just push you that inch that you needed.

This can be in relation to campus parties, apartment get-togethers, school functions or even study abroad trips. Some of these items are things you may not consider individually. However, when you add a roommate that’s more outgoing than you and that you trust, you may just find yourself signing up with them and experiencing things you never would have otherwise.

This all being said, there are some introverts that have this quality as well. Just be sure to look for someone that you think is going to push you in the right way to achieve what you can. You don’t want someone that’s going to ignore your boundaries, but rather, you want someone that acknowledges them and that helps you expand them within reason.

2. Understanding

On this same note, you should look for someone who is understanding and compassionate. Introverts need time on their own to refuel, and sometimes extroverts don’t understand that need.

For this reason, you should make sure you find someone that’s understanding of your needs as well as their own. Just because they are a “social butterfly” doesn’t mean that you are.

You may need to find someone that appreciates your need for time to yourself and that can support that need in a living situation. Not everyone will be up for this challenge, which makes this a great quality to look for in a roommate.

Now being an introvert isn’t something to be ashamed of, nor is it something that you should need to qualify with your roommate, but living with someone that’s more understanding will only serve to help you in your living situation.

3. Compatibility

Of course, you also want to consider your compatibility with your roommate. You may end up living with someone that doesn’t share any common interests, and you’ll find rather quickly that it’s a challenge.

When you and your roommate are able to relate to one another and can share certain hobbies etc. with one another, this enhances that relationship. Introverts sometimes need this outside element to bring them closer to a roommate, so picking someone off the bat that has common interests will set you along the right path.

Whether you share similar tastes in books or TV shows, or enjoy the same outdoor activities or sports, there’s something for everyone. This will not only be a great icebreaker when you first meet, but it will help to bring you both closer as the year goes on and, hopefully, down the road as well.

Compatibility is a word that covers a vast amount of ground, so have that initial conversation with a prospective roommate, get a better feel for the type of person that they are, and decide whether or not there is any common ground there. If not, they may not be the right fit for you. If so, you may want to consider rooming with them.

4. Stability

While you may be thinking of the immediate future when choosing a roommate, it’s also imperative that you think about the long-term as well.

Maintaining a stable, roommate relationship for one year is a good start, but you do also want to look for someone that you can see yourself living with throughout your college experience as well.

Change can be difficult for introverts, and undergoing the same roommate selection process year after year is daunting. So, in targeting a roommate with that stability factor, you bypass the future searches and instead have one, strong roommate relationship that you can maintain throughout college and beyond.

Again, these are relationships you’ll have throughout your life (if done correctly), so seeking that long-term relationship is going to benefit you greatly. This isn’t an easy item to look for, but if you note that your roommate has many, long-term relationships and appears to be stable overall, you have a good chance of a working relationship there.

5. Social skills

Along the same lines as the extrovert seeking point, you may want to consider rooming with someone that has superb social skills. College is partly about networking, a concept very difficult for many introverts to come to terms with.

For that reason, having a social butterfly in your corner to help you out is never a bad thing. Having a roommate with strong social skills may just help to push you out of your shell, or at least give you an opportunity to be coached in the art of networking.

Relationships that are built in college can be called upon when it comes time for your job search, so again, it’s important to think ahead to what these relationships could mean for you. The more you are able to socialize, the better off you will be. At the very least, you can view such socializing as practice.

Such practice would be beneficial in terms of interviews, job fairs and other future gatherings in which your social acumen may make or break your career. Again, it doesn’t hurt to have someone with those social skills on your side to provide you with the opportunity to practice.

6. Ambition

Looking for an ambitious roommate isn’t a necessity, though it certainly helps. Sticking multiple introverts in a room without ambition can result in a permanent, couch-potato status, which could ruin any chances you have at networking and starting your career.

Picking a roommate that has the ambition to continue on and that genuinely wants to help you will only serve you well. Ambition is a strong measure of a person’s capabilities, so you should look for this quality in a roommate.

7. Education-oriented

Again, ambition is key, but it’s also important that you pick a roommate that’s education-oriented. What this means is you need to choose a roommate that understands school comes first.

For most introverts, studying is a solo activity, and this can be difficult for others to cope with. You may need complete silence to read or retain information, and so asking the individual you’re living with for said silence can be daunting.

For this reason, you want to choose someone that understands educational needs and that can help you to achieve the high grades you strive for.

Ask potential roommates what their GPA goals are, or what their overall educational goals are to get a better feel for what their schedule will entail and what their work ethic looks like.

8. Similar goals

On a personal note, my roommate and I were complete opposites throughout college. She was an extrovert and I was an introvert, and we clashed on more than a few items throughout our experience. That being said, when it came to our goals, we were right in line with one another.

Both of us decided our freshman year to graduate a year early, so we both pushed each other and assisted one another in ensuring we both met that goal. We succeeded because of our bond, and that’s certainly something to look for in a roommate.

Sharing goals with a roommate not only provides you a building block for your relationship, but it also provides you with a partner to help you achieve those goals. This is a never-ending relationship of support and guidance, and it’s going to help you achieve all the goals that you set for yourself in your college experience.

The goals don’t have to be college related, but professionally or academically (grad school etc.) or even personally. So long as you and your roommate can find that common ground and develop a plan that works for the both of you, there’s no reason that relationship shouldn’t work.

So, for this reason, make sure that similar goals is one of those qualities you look for in a roommate.

9. Leniency

All these items aside, you want to pick an individual that can also be flexible and lenient. Introverts can be challenging to live with, and so having someone that is more lenient will absolutely help in preventing arguments or problems between you and your roommate.

Leniency can be in terms of your study habits or lack of social desires, or in terms of any living situation problems that may arise. Essentially, no matter your personality type, it helps to have a roommate that’s lenient and that will give you some slack when you need it.

10. Organization

Finally, organizationally speaking, having a clean and put together roommate always helps in living situations. Again, this is regardless of your personality type, but organized roommates are less likely to miss rent payments or utility payments and will assist you in cleaning the apartment or purchasing food for the week.

Highly organized individuals tend to do well in these types of situations, so having someone of that nature on your side is never a bad thing. This is a growing professional skill and one that you can benefit from in a living situation as well.

Just because you identify as an introvert doesn’t have to mean that your roommate seeking experience needs to be difficult. In fact, so long as you keep these ten things in mind, your searching should be a piece of cake.

College is difficult enough as it is without adding the pressures of social relationships, so ease your mind a bit by following this list of what to look for in a roommate. The perfect roommate doesn’t exist, but the perfect roommate for you does. Determine which items on this list are the most important to you, begin your search and try to keep an open mind.

I promise, before the school year begins, you’ll have a pretty good idea of who you want to live with, and you may just foster a relationship that will continue for years to come. I know that I did!

So get yourself out there and don’t be afraid to be a little picky when talking with prospective roommate candidates. Picking a roommate is challenging enough without being an introvert, so look for these qualities, pick the person that’s the best fit for you and watch that relationship grow over the next four years. I promise, if you make the right choice, you’ll always have that person in your life.

Good luck in your search and don’t be afraid to dig deeper to find the person that’s perfect for your unique personality.

How to Find a College Roommate That Will be Your Bestie

By Christine Ascher 

One of the most daunting prospects of going off to college for the first time is having a roommate. The idea of living with a stranger, especially when you’ve never shared a room before, can be scary. If you pick the right person, however, having a roommate can be a great experience. While you’ll never know for sure if you and your roommate will get along until you actually start living together, there are certain characteristics that you can look for in your potential roommate to make sure you have the best chance of choosing someone who will, in time, turn into your best friend. If you’re looking for roommates for the coming school year, consider these tips for finding your new bestie.

Reach Out on Social Media

The best way to get to know your prospective roommate if you can’t talk to them in person is through social media. Check out their social media accounts to see if they have similar interests to you and to get an idea of their personality. Social media is also a great way to reach out to someone you’re considering living with. Ask them about their interests and habits to get a better idea of whether you’ll get along, and just try to get to know them better in general. The more you know about the person you’re choosing to live with before you move in, the better your chances will be of finding someone who you’ll get along well with!

Keep an Open Mind

The most important thing to remember when living with another person is to keep an open mind. Chances are, their routine and habits will differ somewhat from yours, and you may need to compromise in some areas. Letting small differences get in the way of your friendship can lead to a strained roommate relationship, so you’ll be much better off if you can keep an open mind. It’s also not a good idea to start off your roommate relationship with a preconceived idea for how everything is going to go—for instance, don’t start picturing you and your roommate watching your favorite movies or going out together before you actually find out if your roommate is interested in those things. Trying to force your roommate situation to be the way you’ve imagined it can lead to awkwardness; instead, wait to see how you and your roommate click, and try to just go with the flow.

Make Sure Your Habits are Similar on the Important Things

While you probably won’t be able to find a roommate who shares all of your day-to-day habits, it’s a good idea to think about what you’re not willing to compromise on before you decide to live with someone. For instance, if you’re a neat-freak and know that you won’t be able to live with someone who tends to be messy, make sure you ask your potential roommate about their cleaning tendencies before you finalize anything. Little annoyances can sometimes make or break a roommate relationship, so it’s important to find someone whose habits won’t get under your skin.  

Find Someone Who Has Some Similar Interests

Especially at the beginning of the school year, it will be much easier for you and your roommate to bond if you have at least a couple of similar interests, such as a similar taste in movies, a TV show you both watch, or a school club you both want to join. Having some interests in common will ensure that you have something to talk about when you’re first getting to know each other and might also give you something that you can do together.

Ask What They Want Out of their Roommate Situation

Not everyone wants to be best friends with their roommate; in fact, some people prefer not to be friends with their roommate, opting instead to do their own thing. Before you get ahead of yourself and decide that you’ve found the perfect roommate match, make sure that the person you want to room with is on the same page. Ask them what their ideal roommate situation would be to see if it matches up with yours. If you want to be best friends with your roommate but they’d prefer to just be friendly while keeping their space, you may end up in a situation that neither of you is happy with; to avoid this potentially awkward situation, make sure that your prospective roommate wants to be friends as well before you move in together.

              Finding the right roommate can make a huge difference in your college experience. If you’re imagining your roommate becoming your future best friend, make sure you put a lot of thought into who you’re going to live with in order to make that happen—and get to know them as much as you can before you actually move in! Though it’s difficult to predict how well you and your roommate will get along until you meet in person, following these tips can get you off to a great start.

5 Common Roommate Issues and How to Solve Them

By Tamiera Vandegrift 

For many people, college marks the first time that they will have to share space with a roommate. In a perfect world, every roommate situation would be completely perfect. All of you would share all of the same interests and hold the same moral values. You would both have compatible schedules to avoid those pesky 7 a.m. rustling noises when the other roommate has to shuffle off to their morning classes. There would be no squabbling over who had a loud, rambunctious party until the wee hours of the morning during school nights because both your roommate and you respect the sanctity of academic rules. Neither of you will have to ever worry about going out to social events alone because both you and your roommate appreciate the same types of activities and totally enjoy each other’s company. While this roommate situation sounds like an absolute dream, it isn’t always a reality.

Living with a roommate can be an absolute challenge. It’s hard to suddenly adjust all of your living habits to suit your roommate’s needs, just as it’s hard for your roommate to do the same. While most students dream of the ideal roommate living situation, more often than not, roommate living situations are met with drama. However, no matter how messy or sticky the situation, there is never a reason to give up and learn to cope with roommate drama on a regular basis. Roommate drama is extremely common are plenty of ways to solve this drama and coexist peacefully. So, keep reading for some of the most common roommate issues that college students face - and how to solve them!

The Problem: They’re a Neat Freak

This might seem like a completely ridiculous thing to complain about. After all, who wouldn’t like to have a roommate that always keeps your living space completely spotless all of the time? Unfortunately, this situation can become uncomfortable and out of hand very quickly. Those dishes you promised you would have time to do after your group study meeting? Your roommate got angry and impatient and threw them on your bed with a passive-aggressive note.

Did you leave your clothes in the washing machine for too long by accident before you left the house? Your clothes are slowly beginning to reek of mildew because your roommate threw them on the ground in an angry fit. It’s one thing when your roommate respects your space and wants to keep it looking nice for both of your sakes. It’s something completely different (and unacceptable!) when your roommate decides to become so controlling and disrespectful of your space in the name of “cleanliness”.

The Solution

It’s likely that this type of roommate has some serious control issues and for that reason, it might be very difficult to confront them about it. However, such an issue does not have to turn into a volatile eruption of emotion. Bring up the issue gently at first by using “I feel” statements instead of “You did(n’t)” statements.

For instance, if your roommate does something with your clothes that you don’t appreciate or does something to disrespect your belongings, say calmly but firmly, “It doesn’t feel very nice when you disrespect my belongings. I would not do something like that to you.” Try to put themselves in your shoes to make them think about how they would feel about a roommate that was so intrusive and rude. If this behavior continues, even after you voice your feelings, do not hesitate to bring the situation up to your RA or property manager.

The Problem: They’re a Slob

Your roommate has clothes and textbooks scattered all over the room. It has come to the point that you can’t even recognize your own floor anymore. Your roommate’s dishes have compiled into such a mountain in your sink that even Mount Everest would be put to shame. On top of that, the room reeks of something you dare not inquire about. And the bathroom? We don’t even have to talk about the bathroom. You might have made gentle, friendly suggestions about the room being in need of some serious scrubbing, but these requests are ignored or brushed off with a nod or a simple “Mmhmm” as your roommate piles another glass on the dish pile in the sink, as the cherry on top of a very disgusting sundae.

It’s fair to say that college is stressful and that after a long day of classes and extracurriculars, the last thing you want to think about is laundry or the dishes from this morning’s breakfast. The same sentiment goes for your roommate. So, how can you address the elephant (or the stench of a million elephants) in the room without causing unrest between you and your roommate?

The Solution

The truth of the matter is that everyone has a different idea of what cleanliness is. What your roommate might view as a satisfactory room situation, you might view as a complete pigsty. First, you need to make sure that you bring this issue up with your roommate early on instead of letting your frustration fester. Make sure that you don’t make the issue personal by accusing your roommate of being a slob or criticizing their behavior.

Instead, ask “Would you mind doing your dishes?” or “Can you pick up after your side of the dorm?” It’s possible that your roommate might not even realize the effect of their actions. If this request is not automatically met with a “Sure!” try setting up a compromise that works for both parties. Make a chore schedule to divide the responsibilities equally so that both of you are pulling equal weight in the house. If this doesn’t work or your roommate becomes rude and defensive, it’s time to bring up the circumstance to your RA.

The Problem: They’re a Homebody

It’s always nice to have some roommate bonding time. After a long day of hard work and craziness, it’s nice to come home to someone you can vent to and spend copious hours eating snacks and watching silly shows on Netflix. However, it is still important to have “me time” as well. If your roommate is always in the room, it can cause you to feel smothered and overwhelmed.

You might not want to be rude by saying, “Oh my gosh, can you get the heck out of here?”, but deep down there are some passive-aggressive thoughts brewing deep within you that are waiting for an opportunity to escape. Even if you like your roommate and enjoy their company, you will eventually get sick of each other if you don’t have any time apart.

The Solution

Chances are that if your roommate is a complete hermit they might not have a big social circle or any interest in extracurricular activities outside of school. It could also be possible that they are suffering from some form of mental illness, like depression or anxiety, that makes it difficult to leave the house. Either way, you need to be patient and understanding, not rude and passive-aggressive. Have a talk with your roommate and see what’s going on in their life. Ask about their interests and if they enjoy doing anything outside of classes.

From there, look into other clubs and organizations and suggest them to your roommate to see if they would be something they’re interested. You could even bring them along with you to one of your club or organization meetings just to stimulate their interest in something besides the glow of their television screen or the many pages of a good book. If you think your roommate might be more of an introverted type, let them know that there are plenty of good places on campus to enjoy some alone time and that you would appreciate having the room to yourself every once in a while. Don’t feel guilty for voicing these feelings to your roommate. After all, it is your space too and you have the right to make it comfortable for yourself.

The Problem: They’re a Ghost

We’ve all heard stories of that roommate that completely ghosts on other people. Students return home to find an empty dorm or apartment except for a dish or two and a few bites out of the leftover takeout in the refrigerator. When you envisioned your college roommate relationship, you might have imagined a super close bond consisting of study sessions and road trips, but instead, you’re stuck eating ice cream in the middle of the night wondering when or if you will hear the rattle of a key in the front door.

Whether your roommate has a significant other that they tend to spend a lot of time with, if they visit their hometown rather frequently, or if they’re just too busy to spend time in the dorm, it can be a real shame not to have someone in the living space with you.

The Solution

Rather than suffering in silence, voice your feelings to your roommate, but not in a way that seems rude or uncomfortable. Ask them if they would like to hang out whenever they have spare time or if they would like to study with you. Try to go out of your way to be social and get to know your roommate and their living situation. If your roommate has a significant other or a friend that they spend a lot of time with, let them know that they are welcome to bring this person into your living space to hang out.

Don’t feel bad if your roommate rejects your suggestions and definitely don’t take it personally. Some people just aren’t very social and prefer to hang out with people that they are already comfortable with. Either way, you will have plenty of opportunities to form friendships outside of your apartment or residence hall!

The Problem: They’re Mean

The fact of the matter is that there is no guarantee that you will “click” with your roommate. After all, everyone is different and you just might find that you don’t vibe with some people as much as you do with others. Another unfortunate fact is that some people are just plain rude and mean.

You could end up with a roommate that makes fun of your sense of style or mocks your program of study. You could end up with a roommate that will talk trash about you in front of other neighbors right outside of your door (Been there, done that). Unfortunately, not everyone will have the same kind heart as you, but living with someone that is toxic and mean can be detrimental to your level of comfort in the living space as well as your own mental health.

The Solution

First, let’s make one thing clear. No one has the right to treat you poorly. Do not tolerate this behavior or dismiss it because doing so will only perpetuate it and make you severely uncomfortable in the process. As scary as it might be, it is crucial that you communicate your feelings very early to avoid an uncomfortable situation in the future when you’ve reached your boiling point. Let your roommate know that you do not appreciate their behavior and that they need to treat you with more respect than they have been.

It’s possible that your roommate might not even realize their behavior is so upsetting because they have a different sense of humor or way of socializing than you. If this is the case, they will almost definitely make changes right away. If they do not respect your feelings and continue to be nasty towards you, it’s time to take the issue to an authoritative figure like an RA. If possible, try to request a roommate reassignment. After all, the school year is meant for nothing but personal growth and positivity. Anything else should be eliminated right away.

During your time in college, you might encounter several types of roommates. Unfortunately, this can come with a lot of roommate drama. Instead of getting down about it and living in utter frustration, find ways to communicate your feelings and solve the issues right away. Doing so will ensure a smooth semester and the potential for a pretty beautiful friendship.

How to Deal with a Messy Roommate

By Amanda Cohen 

Living with a roommate is tough. Regardless of if you are living in a spacious apartment or a shoebox of a dorm room, it’s an adjustment either way. However, it is even more of an adjustment if your roommate is messy. If you are someone like me who likes everything to be organized and orderly, if your roommate is the complete opposite it can make your life a living h-e-double-hockey sticks. So, what can we do about it because, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you will have to deal with the issue in some way, shape, or form in your life. Well, have no fear because I have suggestions on how to deal with this! If this at all interests you or if this seems like a problem you will have to deal with in life, read on!

Even though it’s terrifying to deal with a problem head-on, it’s a necessary first step. If your roommate’s mess is getting out of control and it is causing you to lose sleep at night, you need to talk to him/her. You don’t need to start World War III; sometimes all it takes is a, “Hey, can I talk to you about something?” If your roommate is halfway decent, he/she will say, “Yeah, sure, of course,” or they will ask if you can wait until later today because he/she has a huge exam to study for, in which case you should oblige. Once you do have the conversation, all you have to say is that the mess is driving you a little crazy (try to throw some humor in there to make it more light-hearted) and ask if he/she can be better about cleaning up after themselves, I guarantee they will say no problem and you both can move on.

However, this is the real world and, unfortunately, the problem will not be solved in a day. This situation might have to be dealt with using multiple conversations, but if casual conversations aren’t working out, you need to sit down with your roommate and come up with a plan. You want to make sure you tell your roommate that you understand that many people don’t love to scrub the counters and organize your closet as much as you do, but that you are desperate to meet each other halfway.

You can explain that you realize that it’s their stuff, their room, etc., but that you share that space and you need them to be more considerate. You can say that you will also be more conscientious and understand that you need to also be flexible. Once you get the conversation out of the way, create a plan. For example, if your roommate doesn’t want to fold their laundry, instead of he/she leaving it spread out on their bed or the floor, have them pile it into the laundry basket instead.

Give this plan a couple of weeks because it takes time to develop new habits and to stick to them. If your roommate still doesn’t seem to be getting the hint, you tell him/her that you are tired of having to clean up after him/her and that you really need them to meet you halfway so that you aren’t driven completely crazy. Sometimes a little confrontation is good in order to get your point across. I’m not saying that you should have a screaming match, but you definitely should be sterner in your voice and in your actions.

For example, if your roommate leaves his/her dirty dishes everywhere because they are used to having you pick up after them, leave the dishes. You could even leave your own dishes out because sometimes, in order to gain some appreciation, you need to have an eye-for-an-eye, or in this case, a dish-for-a-dish. If the dishes end up getting cleaned, then I think you have gotten your point across for good. However, if the dishes are not cleaned, the frustration should bubble up organically and then you and your roommate can have an actual conversation.

I promise you that you will come up with a solution, but if you don’t then you don’t have to live with that roommate forever. If a solution doesn’t come to fruition, then you may have to keep picking up after your roommate or pushing his/her clothes to the other side of the room so that you don’t go completely insane. People don’t always agree on how neat to keep their living arrangements, but don’t let it ruin your life and don’t let it change how you live your life and how you clean your room. Just remember that if a conversation doesn’t work, you shouldn’t have to push it further than that because your roommate should respect your words and if he/she doesn’t, then that’s on them, not on you. If you have this problem, just remember that living situations aren’t permanent!

3 Reasons Why Living with a Roommate is Better Than Living Alone

By Kailey Walters

For most of us college students who live away from home, either in the dorms or perhaps somewhere off campus, we’ve probably all dealt with the decision of either living with a roommate or alone. As with all things, there are definitely pros and cons to both options -- but the big question is which one is a better choice for you, which really depends on your personal preferences, your lifestyle, etc.

However, I’m here to tell you why living with a roommate is pretty much always a better choice than living alone. Even if you think you would be better off in a single room in the dorms or renting an off-campus apartment on your own, hear me out on the following reasons as to why living with someone else might be a better option.

1. You can live with your best friend. 

When else in your life would you have such a fantastic opportunity to live with your best friend? Sure, the two of you might have talked about one day renting an apartment together in the city and having a grand old time, but why not live together now while the chance is right in front of you?

After a long, grueling day of classes, you can return to your room knowing that someone you appreciate and love will be there for you to talk to (or even not talk to, as your best friend will understand and give you space to breathe if you’re not in the mood to talk). After all, your best friend gets you, so you most likely won’t find yourself struggling to be someone you’re not or dealing with potentially awkward or tense situations. Plus, if you happen to feel bored or lonely or just want someone to hang out with in the moment, having your best friend right there next to you is always a great feeling.   

Also, rooming with your best friend will undoubtedly lead to many more new, wonderful memories between the two of you. Your best friend can be the one you turn to at any time and say, “Remember when we pulled an all-nighter together/spontaneously decided to get ice cream and drive around town at 1 a.m./had so many deep talks that lasted for hours and hours?” Even if you can already say these things to them (which is great), living with them will only enhance your friendship and allow you to get to know them on an even deeper level.

2. You can meet someone new. 

Some people might shy away from living with someone new, perhaps because they’ve heard of roommate horror stories or they simply don’t feel like interacting with someone in their personal “me time” space. However, even rooming with someone you haven’t met before can be an amazing and rewarding experience. Personally, having not known a single one of my freshman year suitemates, I can now say as a junior that living with them was one of the highlights of my freshman year and that we made so many wonderful memories together. Even now I am still quite close with several of them, which just goes to show how lasting new friendships can become!

So, if you’re still hesitant about living with someone new, at least give it a try. Make an effort to reach out to the other person and get to know them better; perhaps suggest some time to hang out, just the two of you. Or you could spontaneously end up having a conversation with them and learn a lot about them that you didn’t know before.

Whatever happens, there is certainly the possibility of developing a wonderful connection with your roommate until it becomes a lasting friendship.

3. Living with a roommate is often cheaper than living alone. 

In terms of practicality, living with a roommate typically is financially smarter than living on your own. At most colleges, having a double or even a triple room is less expensive than having a single to yourself -- so not only do you get to solidify your bonds with your roommate(s), but you also get to save money that can best be put towards other college expenses, such as textbooks, meal plans, tuition, etc.

Also, if you happen to live off campus, sharing the rent with other people for an apartment or even an entire house is definitely more financially viable than coughing up all the rent money yourself. If you split the rent money with two, three, or as many people as you’d like, your housing costs will automatically decrease.

If you’re faced with a big decision on your housing situation next year, definitely consider rooming with someone. There are many lasting benefits that will make your experience that much more memorable and worthwhile!

Living at Home to Living with Roommates: A Transition Guide

By Alicia Geigel

Making the transition from living at home to living with roommates can be a difficult one if you’re not used to the changes and responsibilities that come with it. I was an only child growing up, so for the most part, I learned to be independent and depend on myself for a lot of responsibilities. Living (with your parents) but by yourself for most of your life, you become accustomed to how you do certain tasks, unlimited privacy, and the perks of being independent. Moving in with roommates change up the whole game of living situations and will teach you more about yourself than you ever knew could be possible.

Having one or multiple roommates is considered to be a natural part of the college experience, as it not only helps to expand your social life but it can also help you save money in the long run. Whether it is during your freshman year in a dorm or during your junior year in an off-campus apartment, living with your new roommates may be either a dream or a nightmare.

Sharing your life with one or a couple roommates is not easy, but there are ways that you can actively make your experience smoother and more enjoyable. Are you nervous about an impending or current roommate situation and do not know exactly how to handle it? Check out my simple tips below on how to live with multiple roommates!

Deciding Who to Live With:

Perhaps the first and most important part of living with a roommate/roommates is figuring out who to live with.

For a lot of incoming freshman college students, utilizing services provided by the university can help find a prospective roommate. In this case, universities will send out an email detailing instructions on how to fill out a questionnaire for your optimal roommate. Questions in the form may include: do you smoke/not smoke, do you prefer a cleaner/messier room, what time do you go to bed, etc. These questions help the residential advisors and administrators build a reasonable profile for you and place you with the ideal roommate that would compliment your lifestyle/living habits.

If you’re not a freshman, you may be looking for roommates elsewhere. Plenty of college students turn to university class Facebook pages to find people to be their roommate. This is less formal and is a way many consider better to find a perfect roommate. Students will typically post their major, where they are from, hobbies, favorite music/TV shows/movies, interests, etc. Before my freshman year, I found my first college roommate by making a post on my university’s “Class of 2018” page and found someone that was similar to me in interests. We ended up messaging each other, met up at accepted student’s day and decided to become roommates!

Another way to look for roommates is through mutual friends and/or through other social media pages. Many people successfully find roommates through friends or through sites like Roomsurf, Facebook or Craigslist. Finding roommates like this can be perfectly safe and easy, just be cautious of who you talk to and what information you give to them. Though not everyone on the internet is a bad person, there are definitely some bad eggs out there and you don’t want to end up being scammed by one or even go as far as living with one.

Tips for Finding a Roommate/Roommates:

• DO consider university resources (if they are available to you)
• DON’T rush moving in with someone you don’t know just because you need a roommate
• DO look around multiple sites/pages to find someone compatible with you
• DON’T move in right away if you can, spend some time talking and getting to know the person you may be moving in with
• DO put truthful information out to your prospective roommate regarding you/living habits
• DON’T lie about important lifestyle choices to appease a roommate and end up surprising them later on

You Have a Roommate/Roommates: Now What?

Once you have found a roommate or roommates that you want to live with and have moved in with them, now comes the hard part: actually living together. When it comes to living with others, I consider there to be five elements that are crucial for a smooth and stress-free living experience: chores, communication, privacy, bills, and quality time. These elements are important, as they will help to foster a healthy and balanced roommate relationship!

Chores:

Let’s be real, no one truly likes doing chores (unless you’re like me and sometimes likes cleaning to de-stress). You might be able to get away with not doing chores at home, but when you live with roommates, your lack of tidying up in the house definitely adds up. Before you even move in with your future roommates, it’s important to establish some basic, ground rules of living. This can include alternating who takes out the trash every week, who cooks dinner on Tuesday nights, who washes dishes after dinner, who vacuums on weekends, etc.

You may be thinking to yourself, “It’s not that simple. My version of clean is different from my roommate’s.” That may be true, but there are definitely ways that you can figure this out.

Kate Legere of Apartment Therapy states, “Determine what the household chores are and agree on a cleaning schedule. Ask questions like: What needs to be done daily, weekly, monthly? How will you split the light cleaning (vacuuming, dishes) and the deep cleaning (refrigerator, windows)?” Doing so will help you understand the tasks that need to be accomplished and when.

Additionally, writing out the chores on a chalkboard, dry-erase board, or calendar can further help by giving you a visual of what needs to get done. An Apartment Guide Blog suggests, “Use a wall calendar to write everyone’s duties down, or create a chart that lists all of the roommates’ names and their responsibilities next to it. This way, there is no confusion as to who is responsible for what. If it works better, rotate the chores every month.”

While this may seem incredibly simple, it will definitely be helpful in the long run. Once everyone gets a glimpse/idea of each other’s boundaries, standards, etc. each roommate can collectively work toward maintaining a good environment that is suitable not only for them, but for everyone else!

Communication

You have probably heard about keeping the doors of communication open over and over again in your life, but I can promise you that this is incredibly important, not only in roommate relationships, but in all relationship. This rule applies to living with one roommate as well as when you are one out of four people living in a dorm.

Regardless of how many roommates you have, you’ll want to make sure everyone is communicating effectively. Doing so requires no passive-aggressive post-it notes, subliminal messages, etc. but rather, openly talking to all of your roommates.

You may have an issue with roommate #1 because they constantly use your shampoo without asking, or roommate #2 makes you crazy because they eat all of the snacks your mom got just for you. Bottom line is this, speak up. There is nothing worse than having a problem with the person (or persons) you are living with and just letting their actions get under your skin.

It is infinitely more beneficial to confront your roommate with your problems than let the tension build for no reason. If you find yourself in a real pickle and you definitely can not talk to your roommate, bring your issue to your RA or a friend/parent and they can certainly help you settle it, it’s their job!

Tips for Communicating Effectively with Roommates:

• DO be direct with your roommate(s) when there is a problem that arises between you both/all of you. 
• DON’T go behind their back and talk nastily with other roommates about your personal problems with that person. This can not only cause drama but it also makes it hard to trust one another.  
• DO respect them and their differences. 
• DON’T belittle, talk down to, or yell when you don’t get your way or you cannot see eye-to-eye. 
• DO both talk and listen. 
• DO ask if there is anything you can do to make the living situation better and point out what they do that makes you stressed/angry. 
• DO go to a family member or campus counselor to get their input on the situation if you do not feel up to talking to your roommate just yet but feel that you need to vent about the situation.
• DO compromise. According to Rick Moreci in an article by Brian Burnsed of US NEWS, “Compromise does not have to mean sacrifice. It means working together with your roommate to determine the rules for your new living arrangement that you can both be comfortable with.”

Privacy

Everyone loves the chance to spend time by themselves, unwind, watch the latest episode of their favorite TV show, and not have to worry about anything. Privacy when living with a roommate/roommates can sometimes be violated, as it can just naturally (and accidentally) happen while living together. Sometimes you want to be able to call your mom or best friend without having someone else breathing down your throat or take a relaxing shower without worrying about who wants to jump in next.

Just because you have roommates does not mean that you have to spend every second of every day with each other. Sometimes doing so can create rifts and tensions and sometimes it can be great, it all depends on the person. However, do not feel obliged to have to do everything with your roommates, it’s good to have your own friends too!

Friends can not only help with any roommate problems you’re having but they can also be an escape for when you are experiencing a hard living situation. So whether you’re on your bed blasting music through your earphones or are venturing to the dorm across campus to see your friend, just know that needing your own space is ok and healthy!

Tips for Respecting Roommate Privacy

• DO establish boundaries of what is ok/not ok with you in terms of privacy
• DON’T use/eat something without asking
• DO ask before hosting a party at your place
• DON’T assume that it’s always ok to have friends over

Paying Bills

One super important element of living with someone (if you are in an apartment/house) is figuring out how to split up living expenses like rent/amenities/cable + internet. Taking on adult responsibilities and figuring out how to effectively split bills can be difficult but it will definitely save you any kind of money-related trouble in the future.

According to Leslie Tayne of Credit.com, “A major key for keeping the peace is making sure bills are organized. Figure out when and how bills will be collected and split each month, how they will be paid, and who is responsible for paying what amount. While this may sound obvious, too many times roommates will wait until the last minute, causing stress, tension and possibly late bills.”

To make splitting bills easier, put together a chart or spreadsheet of expenses that each person owes to organize payments and keep track of who pays what. Tayne notes, “Each expense should show details such as due dates, the amounts owed, and the person responsible for paying.” Once you get payments and billing figured out, a huge burden will be lifted off your shoulders!

 

Roomie Time

Between endless papers, labs, extracurricular activities, and jobs, it’s hard to maintain a strong social life in college without driving yourself crazy! It’s especially hard to find time to actually hang out with your roommates because you’re so used to seeing them all the time. As a way to keep the vibes good in your living situation, set up a day or night for everyone to hang out. Figure out what everyone’s schedule is like and make a plan to go to a party, have a movie night, or even go on an adventure around campus! Doing this not only can help everyone catch up, but it’s also a great way to create a better, closer bond with your roommates (plus it can be a nice escape from the busyness of life).

Going from living by yourself at home to living with roommates can be a large adjustment and can at times, prove to be difficult, but if you trust your gut and follow my tips, I guarantee you that you’ll look back the years with your roommates as some of the best of your life. As always, good luck!

How to Avoid Roommate Drama

By Alyssa Laffitte

Besides classes, one of the biggest sources of stress for college students is roommate drama. When you live with someone, it is easy to get annoyed with each other, causing a tense living situation. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are some tips to help you avoid roommate drama.

Write a roommate contract

The best way to avoid roommate drama is to write a roommate contract. A roommate contract is a document that lists the expectations you and your roommate have for each other. It requires you to figure out the areas in which you and your roommate are on the same page and the ones in which you are not. Good questions to ask while you are writing a roommate contract are:

• Around what time do you like to go to sleep?
• Around what time do you like to wake up?
• Do you like to have people over, or would you rather the room be a sanctuary?
• Do you plan on bringing any guests over? How long in advance should we notify each other of these guests? (Especially guests of the opposite gender!)
• Are you a neat freak?
• How much time do you plan to spend in the room?
• Are there any times during the week when you would like to have the room to yourself? (Of course, your roommate should ask you this question, and you should take each other’s answers into account as you plan your week.)
• How do you feel about sharing items? Food? Shampoo/conditioner? Beauty products?

Writing a roommate contract early on in your roommate relationship will help you avoid roommate drama and headaches. Having this conversation might be awkward, especially if you and your roommate don’t know each other very well yet. Still, it’s important. You will thank yourself later!

Communicate

Similarly, communication is key in any relationship, but it is especially important to communicate with the people you are living with. The contract is only the first step of this communication. Let your roommate know what’s going on in your life. For example, if you have a big test to study for, let her know that you would like some extra time alone in the room. It’s likely that she will be understanding and honor your request.

You should also communicate to your roommate anything she is doing that you don’t like. For instance, if she always leaves her dirty dishes in the sink and doesn’t wash them, let her know that this bothers you.

Of course, the key to this kind of communication is to be kind. Don’t be accusatory or mean and yell at her when you are telling her she is doing something that bothers you. Instead, say something like, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I always wash my dishes after I use them. The dishes in the sink are yours. Do you think you could wash your dishes, too? Please? I would really appreciate it.”

If you don’t communicate with your roommate, you will be very frustrated and angry. Don’t let these unresolved issues become monsters. Communicate with your roommate whenever you have an issue, as this is the best chance of resolving the issue.

Keep the room clean

Even if your roommate says she is not necessarily a neat freak, it is important to keep the room clean. Not only does it look better, but it’s easy to find things when you know they are exactly where they are supposed to be. Your roommate will appreciate that you are not leaving your stuff all over the place.

Spend a healthy amount of time apart

When you live with someone, you spend a lot of time with them. This is good because you and your roommate could cultivate a close friendship. However, it is also healthy to spend a healthy amount of time apart to avoid annoying each other. Spend a few days studying in the library rather than together in your dorm room, or spend time with other friends for a little while. You’ll have something new to talk about when you see each other again!

Always ask before borrowing something

Everyone has different opinions on what they feel comfortable letting their roommates borrow. When I moved out, I was rather protective of my stuff. However, someone else might not mind letting you borrow any of her clothes.

Have a conversation with your roommate about what you can and can’t borrow from each other, and what are the rules if you do borrow something. For example, for how long are you allowed to borrow something? Do you have to wash/clean it before you return it? Knowing the “borrowing policy” ahead of time will help you avoid many roommate problems.

Roommate drama is a big source of stress for college students. Avoid roommate drama by making your expectations clear at the beginning, and communicating kindly with each other when problems do arise. If you do that, you can have a good relationship with your roommate.

Pros and Cons of Roommates

By Danielle Wirsanky

A huge part of the college experience is having roommates. Good roommates, bad roommates, college students experience them all. We have all heard a college roommate horror story or met someone who became best friends with a college roommate. There are many reasons why college students choose (or do not choose) to live with roommates during those crucial four years at university. Each person, each situation, and each roommate is different. You have to weigh out the pros and cons of each situation as it arises before you make a decision—that way you can be sure that you are making the right, and best, decision possible. Read on to learn some of the pros and cons of having roommates!

Pros

There are several benefits to living with a roommate while at college. Not sure what that might entail? Check out the detailed list of pros below!

It’s Cheaper

One of the major reasons that students choose to have roommates while at college is simply because it is cheaper. College is one of the most expensive undertakings a person can undergo—and that is just tuition! The cost of living is higher when you are on your own and no longer living with your family. Sharing a living space makes costs go way down. If you live alone, you have to pay for the entire rent, the entire utility bill, all the cable and internet bills, renters insurance, and more. There is no one to share it with.

Fortunately, the bills do not increase proportionally for every roommate you add to an equation. Say a studio apartment costs $650 a month to rent. If you wanted a place with two bedrooms, it would not necessarily cost you $650 x 2. It would more likely cost you $850. $850 split in two ($425) is a lot more reasonable an amount to pay per month for rent. The same with utilities and the rest of the bills you need to pay. The amounts do not go up in proportion to the number of people living there. It is having the initial set up and maintenance of a utility or service that keeps it at a base price each month. And each roommate that you add without the prices going up too much just helps you to keep your costs down low.

Being able to split all of those fees will really help you to save money in the long run and make sure all of your bills and expenses are covered. You can even split grocery bills to make sure that you do not buy too much food, that it all gets eaten, and that nothing goes to waste. Being able to stay financially secure will make your college experience a lot less stressful, so if a roommate can provide you with that financial stability, why not try it out?

Larger Living Space

Often when you have an apartment, dorm room, or house that is meant to house more than one person, the shared living spaces are larger to reflect it. A studio apartment does not offer much space, and the living room and kitchen for a one bedroom apartment will also be pretty tight. But the space you will find in shared living spaces in a two or three bedroom domicile? Much less snug of a fit. It is not only your living room that will be bigger but most likely your kitchen too! The larger living space might even be reflected in your bathroom or bedroom size, especially if the bathroom is intended to be shared. Even if you have to share a space like a bathroom, having a bigger one usually makes the experience more pleasant.

Safety

Living by yourself is not always the safest. Without another person in your daily, and I mean daily, life, there are more ways for you to fall through the cracks. If you get sick, who will know? Who will be able to help you, even to a minute degree? If you experience a home invasion or some other tragedy, who else will notice that something has gone wrong, that you are off schedule, that you are not where you are supposed to be? Yes, you have family and friends, but do you see each of them every day while you are at college? Probably not. A roommate knows your schedule and habits. They will be the first to notice if something is wrong and may be able to do so quickly enough that you can actually be helped.

Burglars and other invaders are also much less likely to target homes that have multiple people living in it, especially if they have different schedules. If one person lives in a place, it is much easier to track their schedules. And if they do come home in the middle, one person is much more easily dispatched than multiple. Having a roommate can often keep you and your household a lot more secure.

Have a Built-In Friend/Support System

Going hand in hand with the idea of safety, having roommates really can provide you with a support system you otherwise would not have. Your family and friends can only do so much from wherever they are living. Roommates are up close and personal, in your face, in your space, and in your life.

Sometimes, it is nice to just come home to someone at the end of the day. You go home after a long day of work and school and someone is there, a friendly and familiar face. Maybe you are not close enough for you to vent about your day; maybe you are. But living with another person gives you a more intimate relationship—through little details, you come to know each other better than most people ever will, even if you are not exactly friends.

Even if you do not know your roommate very well or are even complete strangers when you first move in, you will end up with a bond by the end. A sense of camaraderie, a sense of respect—these things can very easily be developed. And if you already know or are friends with your roommate before you move in together, your relationship will deepen as well.

And sometimes, a roommate can end up being your very best friends. As American Filmmaker, Richard Linklater once said, “The people you live with at college, those first roommates often are people you're still friends with the rest of your life.”

Cons

Just as there are many pros to having a roommate, there are also many cons. These should also be weighed very carefully before you sign any lease or contract. You do not want to get stuck in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Check out the list of why a roommate might not be the best option for you.

Less Privacy

Having a roommate definitely means that you will have less privacy. If you have shared spaces, like a shared bedroom or bathroom, you will very much be in each other’s personal space. Especially when you share a bedroom, it can be hard to give each other any personal or alone time because you simply have no other place to go, like in a dorm room. Even if you do not share a bedroom, it can be hard not to feel watched or judged as you make excursions into the living room and other shared spaces. It can feel like they know, watch, and keep track of your every move. It is not a great feeling to feel judged by your roommate. And sometimes, you can’t just pick up and go to the library or sit in a dorm study room to give or get your own space—these are not always options.

For some people, personal time and being able to retreat away from the world and other people is incredibly vital. When you never have any space or distance from other people to recharge or unwind, it can be detrimental to your health, emotional well-being, and can put your relationships at risk because it becomes such a frustrating experience. No one wants a roommate situation to become a war zone or to let frustrations boil over to that point. However, if you are not used to handling a roommate and know how important privacy is to you, having a roommate might not be the best option for you. You need to feel very comfortable in your dorm, apartment, or house because while you are at college, it really is your home. And home is supposed to be a safe place.

Clashing Expectations

Another con to having roommates while in college is that you will often have clashing expectations. This is to be expected to a certain extent. No one comes from the same backgrounds or situations—you are setting up camp with a person who was raised and who lives in a manner that is probably very different from you. What you take to be blatant might not be so clear to you and vice versa. Maybe your family was more relaxed about cleaning and housework—it did not have to be done right away as long as it was completed in the end. But maybe your roommate expects you to clean up after yourself, immediately, right away, and without delay—after all, that is how they were raised and expected to behave. It is not as if you were not going to clean it up—but it can start an argument that you did not clean it up fast enough.

Or maybe it is the other way around. If you wanted to bring guests into your home, you would run it by your roommate first to make sure it was okay—that they felt comfortable having people in the space you guys share, especially if you are bringing over people they do not know. But your roommate is the opposite—they never think to ask you if it is okay to bring people over and they bring lots of people into your home, people you have never met before and might not feel that comfortable around. This can cause friction between you – you have different expectations, and it can be hard for you guys to get back on the same page about these kinds of issues.

It can be hard to clearly lay out your expectations without someone feeling like they are having their toes stepped on or that the other party is being unreasonable. If you feel like you cannot follow rules or cannot abide by someone who might break your own rules or ever dash your expectations, roommates might not be the best fit for you.

Patience

Connecting back to the idea of clashing expectations, if you do not have a lot of patience, then having roommates may still not be a good fit for you. Even when you set up expectations, it can be difficult to change the way you have always lived or what you presumed to be acceptable behavior. There will always be mix-ups, accidental violations of the expectations, and times when the expectations are too untenable and do not work out or are unachievable. It happens to the best of us. But if you cannot learn to roll with the punches and every minor or accidental violation of a rule sets your teeth so much on edge that you cannot bear to live or be around a person, living on your own, on your own terms, might be more comfortable for you.

Roommates can be the best and roommate can also be the worst. You have a lot of pros and cons to weigh when making such a decision, which should not be made lightly. You need to make the decision that will best enable you to get the most out of your college experience. You want to do well, feel well, and be well. Think out your options carefully before you commit so you know whether or not having a roommate will work for you.

15 Activities That Will Help You Bond With Your Roommate

By Brittany Hawes

You’ve found a compatible roommate—congratulations! You’ve already completed one of the toughest parts of “roommate life”! Now comes the fun part: finding fun activities to do together that will help you bond with your roommate and strengthen the relationship between you. Although the following list will provide you with bonding activity examples, you should take into consideration the likes and dislikes of you and your roommate when making plans to hang out. If you both share a similar interest, you should find an activity that involves that and do it together!

Are you ready? Here is a list of 15 activities that will help you bond with your roommate:

1.       Movie night

Who doesn’t love a movie night? Pull out your favorite Blu-Rays and DVDs or log into your Netflix account and get ready for a night filled with nothing but good (or hilariously bad) movies. Skip out on cooking dinner for tonight and instead have everyone chip in to get a delicious pizza delivered to your door. (Expert tip: If you have different tastes when it comes to your choice of pizza, order from a restaurant that will let you order different toppings on both halves. Or order Korean BBQ instead!) Pop some popcorn, bust out the soda cans and beer, and bond over the beauty that is cinema

2.       Sleepover

If you both have your own separate rooms, why not do a night where you both stay in one person’s room? You can swap funny stories, watch YouTube videos together, and take the chance to really get to know one another. Feels like middle-school, but sleepovers at this age can be even more fun!

3.       Gardening

My roommate and I started a garden together. We both knew very little about gardening so our plants didn’t last too long, but the process of setting up our garden was fun! We went to a few stores to gather our materials, had all sorts of wacky adventures in the garden center of Home Depot, and laugh/cried at the pitiful state of our poor little garden a few months down the road.

4.       Decorating

If your shared living spaces are looking a little drab, why not go on Pinterest with your roommate and find a living room setup that you both like? After that, arrange to go to the store and pick up everything you’ll need to transform your living room into the ultimate hangout space.

5.       Shopping

Shopping really is a bonding activity. It doesn’t just have to be for clothes; shopping for furniture, household goods, and other things you might need in your home all make for a fun bonding activity.

6.       Grocery shopping

Shopping for groceries is never fun, but having someone along with you in those packed aisles can make the experience a little better. Ask your roommate if he or she wouldn’t mind going with you to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Chances are, they’re also in need of a few things and will appreciate the offer.

7.       Date night assistant

Does your roommate have a big date coming up? Offer to play wingman and help them get ready for their romantic evening. That includes being that “emergency phone call” if the date is a loss and your roomie needs you to bail them out.

8.       Video games

Nothing builds friendship like a few rounds of Mario Kart or Call of Duty!

9.       Homework help

Is your roommate struggling in a subject that you’re an ace at? Offer to help by walking them through the problem and helping them reach the solution.

10.   Road trip

Imagine leaving the stress of class behind you and going for a great road trip with your roommate. Pick a spot that you’re both interested in visiting and head there for the weekend. You might consider doing something similar for Spring Break or Winter Break.

11.   Attend school functions

Aren’t you a little bit curious about those campus events you keep getting emails about? Why not grab your roommate and check one of them out? Sure, the event might be as boring as the email made it sound, but that gives you and your roommate something to laugh about!

12.   Plan a spa day

Take a break from classes and visit the spa together this weekend!

13.   Go see a play

You know that play your roommate keeps mentioning? Take him to go see it! If students get in free, that’s even better!

14.   Go see a movie

Don’t forget your student ID for your discount!

15.   Go skating

You both might not be the greatest skaters in the world, but get out there and have a laugh at yourselves! A good time comes from being able to laugh at yourself!

You and your roommate don’t have to be strangers living in the same place. Reach out and make that effort! You never know—you might just find your new best friend.

Questions to Ask Before Deciding to Live with Someone

By Kaitlin Hurtado

If you have the opportunity to move out, one of the harder decisions may be finding who to live with. Deciding to live with someone may not be the first thing on your mind when you think of your upcoming independence, but deciding to live with someone will come up when you realize you may not be able to handle the burden of rent alone and need to find other people to share your room or apartment with.

It's hard enough to find someone to live with, but finding your ideal roommate is even harder when they are so many factors that will lead to your final decision. You may think you are the best roommate ever, but finding someone to match your idea of a matching "best roommate" can be tricky depending on your standards.

There are plenty of factors that go into deciding who to live with, such as which of your friends are available, how well you get along with someone, and how clean you are. If you find yourself struggling in deciding who to live with or if the person you are considering to live with is the right choice, here are some starting questions to ask when you are deciding to live with someone.

What is your daily routine like? 

This question may seem personal, but it's a good starting point in getting to know the type of person you are going to live with. Deciding to live with someone is a personal choice as you are going to be sharing your personal, living space with them. Asking for your potential roommate's daily routine gives you a first taste as to what kind of person you are considering as a roommate. Many things can be learned from knowing someone's daily routine. You get to know how much time they spend out and about or at home, what kind of things they like to involve themselves with, and much more.

Ask them to describe their typical day. What time do they usually wake up to start their day? Do they take a lot of naps? Do they stay up all night, only to sleep well into the next day? Sleeping schedules are often revealed when a daily routine is described as you can get a general read on their sleeping habits, which may be very important if you are planning on sharing a bedroom with the person. You don't want to have them up all night trying to be productive (and very noisy) as you try to sleep, or be an early riser when you love to sleep in. Finding someone with a similar sleeping schedule will help you avoid later conflict that can come up when you realize you and your roommate run on completely different schedules when it comes to sleep.

Finding out when common routine factors, like showering, can also be helpful when it comes to deciding to live with someone, no matter how trivial it may sound at first. If you both have a similar schedule, down to the same shower times, living together may be less than ideal when your daily fights spark from something as simple as who gets to shower first.

Likewise, the activities they list out when describing their daily routine will also reveal how much time they spend in and out of the house. If they say that they only really go out when needed, like for class, you may want to consider how that would affect you if you decided to live with them. If you like to stay home and have your own personal time, but they are always home, living with them may not be your best bet if you are going to be sharing a room with a lack of personal space.

Getting to know an individual's daily routine prior to deciding to live with someone may save you the trouble of realizing that you and your roommate run on clashing schedules, which can lead to future roommate conflicts.

How do you feel about having guests over?

A common cause of conflict between roommates is on contrasting opinions on having guests over. Before deciding to live with someone, it's important to ask them about how they feel about having guests over - especially if you know that you feel strongly about having guests over.

You can think it's perfectly okay to have guests over, even if it's having a friend inside while you grab something to change into. However, someone else may want to keep their living space extremely quiet and not want any guests over. It's important to find a common ground regarding guests - both daytime and nighttime - prior to deciding to live with someone as you want both yourself and your roommate(s) comfortable in their own living space, regardless of the time.

Make sure you also draw a distinction between overnight guests and daytime guests. Someone may be okay with the occasional guest over at daytime with a heads-up text, but be strictly against having any overnight guests.  It may not seem like that much of a big deal, but for those with significant others that want to spend the occasional night or two, not being able to spend time together just may be a deal breaker when it comes to deciding to live with someone.

If you know you hate your roommates having overnight guests over or when people come over without any warning, make sure you make that clear to the person you are deciding to live with. Alternatively, if you know you love to have friends over at your apartment all the time, make that apparent when deciding to live with someone. It's unfair to you if you can't have any guests over at all if your roommate doesn't want anyone over, but it's also unfair to your roommate if you are always bringing someone over without permission, leaving them feeling uncomfortable in their own living space.

When discussing your respective thoughts on having guests over, you may also want to discuss what you think of having parties or larger gatherings at your apartment. You definitely don't want to live with a party animal and only find out when you realize that your roommate has been throwing parties several weekends in a row.

What is your definition of clean? 

An even more common cause of conflict between roommates is getting into fights over the cleanliness of your living space. To avoid such conflicts, it's important to ask about someone's idea of clean before deciding to live with someone.

If asking someone if they are clean or not, they can say that they are a clean person and think they are being completely honest. However, once you live with them you may realize that the "clean" they were talking about isn't even close to what you think "clean" should be. Instead, make sure to ask what they consider as clean. Asking this instead will allow you to gauge just how clean, or dirty, you can expect them to be as a roommate.

Having the same definition of clean will make living with each other easier as you both will have the same standard of cleanliness to uphold. You won't have to worry about telling them to clean the countertop, only for them to clear it off without actually wiping it down with anything. It's important for both parties to be honest in this case, if you know you are the type to clean once a week, whenever you find time to clean - make sure your future roommate knows that so that they don't expect you to be cleaning up after yourself as soon as you make a mess.

At the same time, while you may say you are pretty relaxed when it comes to cleaning your own personal living spaces, you may have a different standard when it comes to common living spaces, like your living room, kitchen, and/or bathroom. If you want dishes cleaned as soon as they are used, or for everything in the living room to be neat and tidy at all times, be sure you make those desires known to the person you are deciding to live with. This will decrease the chances of you constantly having to remind them to pick up after themselves or worse, having to pick up after them.

If you discuss cleanliness standards and possible cleaning schedules before deciding to live someone, you will help eliminate the future headache that comes with nagging between roommates regarding cleanliness.

What do you expect out of a roommate? 

Just like how everyone has a different standard of cleanliness, everyone has a different idea of what a roommate should be and all have their deal breakers when it comes to deciding to live with someone. Asking your potential roommate what they expect out of a roommate is a great way to figure out the expectations that your roommate holds and can also potentially reveal what you can expect of them as a roommate in turn.

Some people think of getting a new roommate as a great opportunity for making a new friend. They may want to become very close to you, meaning, they'll ask to spend more time with you, whether it's time spent having movie nights in your living room or tagging along with your friend group for dinner. This may sound like an ideal scenario as you'll be on friendly terms with your roommate, but you might want to think about what you want out of having a roommate. If you just want someone to live with and get along with casually, you may find their attempts to incorporate themselves into your life aggravating or troublesome, especially if you want time at home to be your own personal time and they attempt to spend any and all time at home with you.

On the other hand, if you are the type of person that wants to become best friends with the person they are living with, you may want to ask what your potential roommate's idea of a roommate is as they may just want someone to share a living space with, and nothing more. This may mean that you have to prepare yourself to give your roommate a lot more room than you would regularly give your roommate or potentially finding another roommate if you want to be close with the person you live with in order to be comfortable in your living space.

This question will also entail figuring out with your potential roommate's lifestyle choices when they explain what they expect out of a roommate. If they say they don't want to have to keep constant watch of their roommate, it probably means that they want a clean and orderly space, and don't want to have to constantly nag at you to do your share of the cleaning.

If they have a smoking habit, they might expect you to be okay with that, or any other normally undesirable habits (constant overnight guests, partying, etc.). They might reveal this as "I want someone that is okay with all my lifestyle choices" and if they are being vague, you might want to consider asking them for more details or explaining what you are okay with (the occasional overnight guest) and what you definitely are not okay with to avoid later conflicts.

Remember that both of your wants and needs are important, and if both of you have completely different expectations of roommates, it's okay to keep looking for a roommate elsewhere.

These questions are discussion starters to help you in deciding to live with someone. It's important to be honest in discussing the answers to such questions as you definitely don't want to be called out on lying about a clean person when you are clearly not, or for your roommate to reveal a pet that you had no prior knowledge of when you move in together.

While someone may not give you the ideal answer you are looking for, don't completely rule them out of your housing decision. Remember that compromise is always an option and that both of you can work toward reaching a starting line that works for both of you as potential roommates.  These questions and their following answers may help you decide on finding your best possible roommate.