How To Get Your Roommate To Step Up On Apartment Responsibilities

By Ashley Paskill

Living with a roommate has its perks, but it can be difficult at times. This is especially true when it comes to getting roommates to chip in with chores and other responsibilities. It can be challenging to get roommates to chip in their part, leaving you with handling the apartment responsibilities on top of your student responsibilities. Knowing how to delegate duties and encourage your roommate to step up can reduce stress and improve the relationship with your roommate.

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Talk it out

Before you even move in together, decide what responsibilities need to be done with the apartment. In most situations, these responsibilities include paying bills, doing chores, and going grocery shopping. Decide who wants to be in charge of which and have each roommate chip in equally. If arguments arise, opt to have some time and space for a bit while you settle down and regroup later. Talk calmly yet be firm about what needs to be done. Bring in another person if things are not getting better.

Split responsibilities

As mentioned above, splitting up who does what can help reduce the stress on each person. Even if you each chip in equally for each responsibility, having a designated person to manage each responsibility can help take the pressure off one person managing everything. If one roommate is better at being clean and organized, have that person be in charge of cleaning. Have your roommate who loves shopping manage the groceries. This allows you and your roommate to play to your strengths, which can help motivate you to get what needs to be done, done.

Create a visual

Seeing what has been done and what still needs to be done can help you and your roommates stay motivated to keep up with your responsibilities. Make a list of what chores need to be done and on what days. Add these tasks to a calendar, and create a separate chart for who is responsible for what. Check the tasks off the calendar once they are complete. Be sure to add the due dates of bills to the calendar as well so you know how much time you have until they need to be paid and the proper arrangements can be made. Being able to physically see what needs to be done can help keep you and your roommate organized and on track. Having things digital may cause things to be lost.

Avoid being overly critical

It can be tempting to criticize your roommate for doing something differently than you would do. This is especially true when it comes to cleaning and organizing your apartment. However, this can leave them not wanting to pitch in to help with their responsibilities. Be understanding of their preferences and differences in how they do things. Also, remember that you and your roommate have different schedules and different things going on. Be mindful of this and do not be too harsh if things are not completed the day they are set to. Trash getting taken out and bills being paid are the only exceptions as these likely have set days to be completed.

Reference the roommate agreement

It is likely that you and your roommate created a roommate agreement before moving in together. This outlined what would be expected in terms of cleanliness and how various responsibilities would be handled. If you do not already have one, it may be a good idea to create one now so you have a way to resolve issues that may arise in the future. Your roommate agreement should have a guideline of what needs to be done, by whom, and when. Of course, as mentioned, there should be a bit of leeway when it comes to tasks like cleaning and grocery shopping if schedules change a bit. However, if things just are not getting done in general, sit down with your roommate and pull out the roommate agreement. Feel free to amend the roommate agreement if things have changed, especially in terms of schedules.

Set consequences

While you should be open to how things get done and you should have some flexibility regarding when tasks are completed, it is important that chores and responsibilities do get done. Give some leeway the first and even the second time your roommate does not complete their responsibilities but have a talk about what they need to do moving forward. If you continue to have issues, talk to your landlord, especially if you are having issues getting your roommate to pay their share of rent and utilities. Ask your landlord what you can do and what can be done to ensure you are not in jeopardy of losing your apartment. They may be able to provide some advice and possible consequences to bring up with your roommate.

Living with a roommate can mean difficulties sharing responsibilities, but with some communication and a bit of flexibility, things can get done.