Roommate Etiquette for the Holiday Season

By Emily Stoklosa

It’s the holiday season and the festivities are in full swing. Traveling, shopping, hosting, baking, etc. This time of year is for celebrations, gatherings, spreading joy, and practicing roommate etiquette (of course). It’s a year-round job, and navigating during this season can be especially tricky. Crammed shared spaces, differing holiday traditions, obligations, and scheduling can all contribute to a roommate dispute. As you think thoughtfully and carefully about gifts and plans, we have done the same with this curated list of roommate etiquette tips for the holiday season.

1. Communicate while you celebrate

One of the most valued aspects of a harmonious roommate relationship is communication. Our routines are almost always disrupted during this season, and roles and responsibilities can change at home. You won’t hear someone complain about their roommate telling them something in advance, so do prioritize this discussion. If you expect to be gone for a long time or host your own guests, run it by your roommate beforehand. This may require routine changes to basic household chores like mail retrieval, garbage duty, plant maintenance, cleaning schedule, or any other responsibilities. The earlier, the better. Especially if you’re seeking a favor, like your roommate watching your pet for a few days or having extended family over for a night. This is not only the polite way to share a space but also gives the roommate plenty of time to make arrangements or modify their schedule.

A common mistake roommates make during the holiday season is overtaking the space. Yes, decorating is one of the pillars of Christmas time. But many cultures have different holiday traditions. Before you turn your casual living room into a gingerbread wonderland, ask your roommate what they are okay with. Roomies constantly get in tiffs around this time because they both want to make the space their own and forget that it is shared. Yet, it is so easy to avoid through communication.

2. Embrace different holiday traditions

As roommates, the closeness of relationships can vary significantly. Some range from knowing only each other’s names to knowing all personal information. Nonetheless, religious practices are often observed through holiday traditions around this time. To be considerate, host a time for an open discussion, whether a group chat or dinner table and discuss everyone’s holiday traditions in the space before the season begins. This allows everyone to coordinate and plan beforehand so no conflicts arise.

The purpose of this time of year is to bring people closer together and appreciate the unity of humanity. Try something new. Even if you have celebrated Christmas traditions your whole life, you can participate in other traditions, like Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. If your roommates share these activities, ask to be included and take this as an opportunity to simultaneously develop your friendship and cultural knowledge. Conduct a little background research to know what to expect if you choose to participate. Maybe you and your roomie(s) decide to celebrate collectively. Communities plan annual gatherings and countless activities to attend- simply visit your local city website to learn about the festivities.

3. Check in with your roommate’s mental health

The holidays can sometimes be a very challenging time of the year for people. Whether it be a traumatic life event, financial instability, seasonal depression, or loneliness- your roommate could be going through an emotionally daunting time. It is a good opportunity to check in and ask what they need to ensure they feel supported and cared for. Perhaps your roommate didn’t have nearby family members to celebrate with, and now they do because you asked. If you notice your roommate has been showing signs of seasonal depression or emotional distress, help them by providing outside resources like the phone number of a therapist or a local community support group. Although these efforts seem minimal, they could have long-lasting impacts. Alcohol and sugar addictions can spike during this time, so ensure you and your roommates are supporting each other through healthy habits despite the temptations.

The same goes for vice versa. If you are struggling during the holidays, use your roommate as a confidant and friend to support you. The worst thing you can do is bottle up your feelings; your roommates likely feel the same stressors and anxieties. A little empathy and honesty can go a long way for your roommate relationship to flourish.

Living with roommates during the holiday season can be a fun and comforting experience, but it requires a little extra care, consideration, and communication. By respecting shared spaces, being mindful of your roommates’ traditions, and doing some feeling check-ins, you can ensure that your home remains peaceful and enjoyable to celebrate the season. After all, the holidays are about connection and joy, and with proper etiquette, you can make this holiday season memorable.