College Roommate Tips
Living with Multiple Roommates: A Guide to Harmonious Living
Your living space should be your safe haven, but sometimes a bad roommate situation can turn your space into a living nightmare. Getting multiple people to live harmoniously in one space may be a difficult task at times, but it definitely is not impossible. A great roommate relationship can add so much to your life in terms of friendship, entertainment, and comfort.
This article will detail different preventative measures you can pick while choosing roommates and the conversations you should have at the beginning of your lease. It also touches on the best ways to create honest and open communication, because nobody can avoid conflict completely.
1. You CAN pick your (roommate) family
This first step is crucial and must be done before you actually move in or make any living commitments. Many people jump into living arrangements simply because someone has propositioned to live with them. This often happens with friends or other people you know, but be aware, sometimes living with your best friends can be a nightmare instead of a dream.
If you don’t have any friends that are looking for a place to live, Lorena Roberts has some great advice on finding quality roommates.
It is definitely worth it to have a chat with your potential roommates about your styles of living before you move in. You need to figure out if people are messy or clean, quiet or loud, morning people or night owls. Ideally, you want to live with people whose lifestyles aren’t going to clash with yours, so if you learn that your potential roommate loves to blast music but you need absolute quiet to get any work done, you might want to reconsider living with them.
Try as best as you can to be very honest when discussing this. You may be tempted to portray yourself as a perfect roommate when in reality, you know that you have a few bad habits. It is better to be candid about some of your faults, and perhaps even mention how you are planning on fixing some of them. Hopefully, your honesty will inspire others to do the same.
Kaitlin Hurtado details some important questions to ask before moving in. They can help you determine your standards of living and see if they match up.
2. Share the financial burden
Just like in relationships, money is something that can tear roommates apart. Many people fall into the trap of letting one person handle all the financial responsibility. This is an easy way to create problems.
It is better for you and your roommates to sit down at the beginning of your lease and think of ways that you all can share the cost. Of course, you’ll all be paying for rent, but there are usually internet bills, electricity bills, trash collection bills, and other bills that will need taken care of. Try and let each person take responsibility for paying one bill if possible, even if the bills aren’t the same amount. Because bills will usually fluctuate, you will probably have to calculate whether you owe someone money for an expensive bill.
With this method, one single person isn’t paying for everything and getting upset while waiting for the other roommates to pay them back.
3. Share the household duties
Like finances, if you don’t organize a system for sharing responsibilities, you could be setting yourself up for future problems. In any living situation, there are always repeat chores that will need doing like taking out the trash, cleaning and vacuuming, washing dishes, etc. If you can delegate certain tasks to certain people from the start, it will hopefully prevent too many chores from piling up.
Make sure that you discuss what are household chores and what are personal chores. You can expect that people will be in charge of cleaning their own bedrooms, washing their own laundry, and potentially, buying their own food.
Try and be clear about which spaces are communal (living room, bathroom) and what spaces are personal. Roommates should always keep communal spaces in clean conditions as a courtesy to everyone, but if they want to keep a messy bedroom, that is their choice.
4. Communicate effectively
Hopefully putting all of these systems in place will prevent some disagreements; however, problems are still bound to arise in any situation. Everybody communicates differently, but some ways of communicating are more effective than others.
Before you fire off an angry text message because of some dirty dishes, think about whether that text is going to allow for open and helpful conversation. The likely answer is that it won’t, and your impulsive text will lead to more problems.
Try and get into the habit of talking face-to-face about issues. Instead of texting something like, “I can’t believe you left your dirty dishes on the table AGAIN!” try something like, “Hey will you be around tonight? I’d like to talk about our kitchen space.” This will give you some time to cool off and will also lead to a more productive conversation. Writer Brittany Hawes has some suggestions on how to settle roommate disputes.
A few types of communication to avoid: aggressive and passive-aggressive. Nobody likes receiving an angry text in the middle of a workday. Nobody likes it when you leave sticky notes around the apartment either. Always try and be upfront about what is bothering you without getting upset and placing blame.
5. Anticipate Issues
If you’re moving in with someone you already know, chances are that you know a little bit about their personality too. Are they a bit forgetful? Do they tend to leave certain things around? If you know that some things could potentially be an issue, try and solve them together before the issue really arises.
For example, if you’re worried that your roommate is quite forgetful and may not remember to pay the electricity bill on time, talk to them about what would help them remember to pay it. You could help them set reminders on their phone the day before. You could write a reminder in a place that they would see every day. You could even try and set up a bill pay system that will pay the bill from their account automatically.
It is crucial that when you are making suggestions, that you don’t come off annoyed or condescending about the issue, especially if you don’t face similar issues yourself. You should be working collaboratively to come up with solutions that will work for them and benefit everyone.
6. Don’t bottle things up
If an issue has arrived that you hadn’t anticipated, you have a few actionable options. You can tell your roommate about what’s bothering you when it occurs the first few times and resolve it quickly, or you can bottle up your anger for months and end up resenting them. That second option sounds pretty awful, right?
If something has repeatedly been getting on your nerves, it isn’t a good idea to let it fester for a long time. Odds are that your anger will build up and when it (inevitably) happens again, you could emotionally explode at your roommate, damaging your entire relationship.
Try and stick to the rule of three: if the action happens three times, then it’s time to talk to them. If something happens just once, and it isn’t something major, it could be a fluke occurrence and not worth your time trying to resolve what isn’t really an issue. By the third time, you can assume that this recurring behavior isn’t going away on its own and needs to be addressed.
7. Your living style isn’t the only living style
When you move in with new people, it can be especially difficult to understand their methods of doing things, especially if they are different to yours. Maybe they load the dishwasher in a different way. Maybe they hang their laundry to dry while you prefer to use a dryer. As a roommate, you need to differentiate what behavior is an issue and what behaviors are just different to yours. It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to change everything about the way they live their life.
Being able to identify bad roommate habits from different living styles is essential. Let’s say that you need the house to be quiet past 10 p.m. so that you can sleep well. If you have a roommate who is up until 1 a.m. blasting music, then this is a real roommate issue that you need to address. However, if you have a roommate that just likes to sing in the shower at 8 a.m. when you’re already awake, you should probably let that slide.
The distinction will make it easier to find the perfect balance between bottling up all of your anger and picking a fight over every little thing.
8. Learn to manage friendship
Depending on how you came about finding your roommates, your situation could range from living with your best friend to living with a complete stranger. When it comes to having boundaries, these situations present different obstacles.
Living with your best friend sounds like a dream come true for many people, but what happens if both of you get in a fight over something? Living in that setting can be extremely awkward. What happens when hanging out isn’t as fun because you see each other all the time? How do you bring up an issue with the living situation without hurting their feelings? Living with a best friend often means you’ll have to be extra cautious about your behavior.
It is best to approach things in a calm, constructive manner because very few things are solved when emotions are high. If you know how they prefer to communicate, it may be a good idea to present the issue that way. You need to look out for your own well-being, but you also need to try and maintain a friendship that you enjoy.
On the contrary, living with a completely new person presents its own challenges. It will take some time to know whether this person is messy or clean, loud or quiet, a morning or a night person. You likely won’t know at the start what their good and bad habits are.
Luckily, you will have the choice to really become friends or not. You will probably find out if you are destined to be best friends or happier just being roommates. It can be a lot easier to talk about roommate issues with someone who is strictly a roommate because you are less worried about how it will affect your relationship.
9. Find your own space
If something does go wrong between you and your roommates, the living environment can be extremely uncomfortable to be in until everything settles down. In case this happens, you should find a place that you can go to feel better that’s away from the stress of the household.
If you have a private bedroom, this could be a good place to go, but for some, this may still be too close to the conflict. Maybe you have a park that you love going to, or there is a great coffee shop nearby. Maybe there is a library that you enjoy being in. For some people, it could be the gym. It is nice to have a place (or two) that you can go to and relax in case your house/apartment becomes uncomfortable.
No roommate relationship is going to be perfect. Just like life, your relationship with your roommates will go through different highs and lows. By being proactive and seeking out roommates that have similar lifestyles to you, you may be able to minimize future issues. By talking about household expectations at the beginning of the lease, everybody will feel responsible for the upkeep of the space. By managing how you communicate with each other, you can resolve conflicts quickly. By being prepared for arguments, you will be better dealing with them effectively.
If you’re lucky, a great roommate relationship can turn into a friendship for life.
How To Make The Most Out Of Your Relationship With Your Roommate Freshman Year
Living with a roommate is an experience, but the type of experience is entirely dependent upon you. Some of you may have chosen your roommate through social media, taken a compatibility quiz through your dorm or may even have gone the random roommate route.
Each method has its benefits and pitfalls, but one thing you’ll find in speaking with graduates on their college roommate experience is that they are all completely different. That being said, no matter the method of roommate selection, there are ways in which you can make the most out of your roommate relationship your freshman year of college.
1. Communicate
You’ve heard the phrase: communication is key. When it comes to living with someone else, whether you think you know them well or not, this holds true. Living with a roommate requires a lot of communication, especially when something is bothering you.
Many individuals will let emotions pile up before exploding into an argument. To avoid this, be sure you are always communicating clearly and calmly with your roommate in order to let them know how you feel.
2. Be Patient
Patience is a virtue, and there are plenty of reasons why. When it comes to living with someone else, you will need to be very patient in order to get along. If you think about it, you are two different people who have become accustomed to different ways of living.
When these two ways of living collide and aren’t entirely compatible, this can cause serious problems in your relationship. For that reason, be sure that you are patient with one another and understanding of the other individual.
3. Spend Time Together
One of the biggest problems with roommate relationships is that the individuals involved don’t spend enough time together outside of their living situation. Just because you share a room or apartment with someone doesn’t mean you spend enough quality time together.
Be sure to schedule events for you and your roommate to participate in throughout the semester, getting out of the room and sharing college experiences together. While you don’t need to spend all of your time together, a few scheduled events here and there that take place outside of the apartment are great circumstances for developing your relationship and bonding with one another even more.
4. Know When to Separate
That all being said, remember that there is a possibility that you spend far too much time with your roommates, which can result in conflict. While this may seem unrealistic, it’s something that most roommates experience at some point in their college experience.
Living with someone requires you to be around them rather often, which means you can easily get on one another’s nerves. To avoid this, be sure to take breaks from one another and pursue relationships outside of this. Get out of the room and visit with other friends, or take some quality time to yourself.
5. Work Together
For many roommates, the idea of working with one another on homework assignments or in a part-time job seems like a lot, but it can actually help strengthen your relationship. Trips to the library with one another allow you to be together, but you will both be studying on your own and therefore not overdoing your time together. This can also be a great motivational tool.
In addition, picking up part-time jobs together can be very convenient and help both of you to stay on track with your finances while in school. Either way, you can both help each other to stay motivated and on schedule throughout the semester.
6. Be Flexible
Last, but definitely not least, it’s very important to be flexible when you are living with someone else. You may be used to living a certain way, but living with someone else is a totally different ball game.
Flexibility is key because it allows you to adapt to new situations and avoid feeling angry or negatively about your roommate relationship. The more flexible you can be, the better off your relationship will be, which goes hand in hand with communication. Be able to adapt and be willing to compromise and you will have a great relationship, without a doubt.
Selecting a roommate for your freshman year of college is daunting and overwhelming, especially given the close proximity you’ll be sharing over the next year. Still, there are plenty of methods of roommate selection out there to help you make the right choice, and there are even more ways to make the most of your roommate relationship.
Use these six tips moving forward, but don’t be afraid to explore other avenues more specific to the dynamic between you and your roommate.
No matter what, you’ll find that a good roommate relationship is the key to a lifelong friendship.
Should Your Roommate Be Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
When you are figuring out where you want to live and who you want to live with in college, your significant other may be a contender for a roommate. However, before going all-in and making the move together, take time to think about the step. Moving in with a significant other is a huge step in a relationship, even it is just for a semester or just for a college house or apartment. These factors should be considered when thinking about moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
How long you have been together
One of the most important things to consider is how long you have been together. If you just met last semester, it may be better to hold off on moving in together until you have gotten to know each other better. However, if you have been dating since high school and you have a strong relationship, moving in together could work out well. When you become roommates with your significant other, you will learn so much about each other and the dynamics of the relationship will change. It is better to wait until you know each other for more than a few months before moving in together.
Religious beliefs
While many college students do not affiliate with a particular religion, many others do. In some faiths, especially ones that are more conservative, it is deemed taboo and frowned upon for a couple to live together before marriage. Even if one of you does not live by this, if the other does, you should be respectful and not move in together if it goes against one of your religions. This may be less of an issue if you are both liberal or do not practice any religion. Even if you do decide to move in together, there may be religious rules about sleeping together, sharing a room, and daily routines and prayer times. Discuss these ahead of time to make sure your arrangements allow for whatever you need.
Finances
For any roommate set up, one of the biggest considerations is paying for rent and other living expenses. When you are in a relationship with your roommate, this question becomes even stickier. It is tempting to let one person take care of rent and the other person take care of groceries, but maybe you want to keep everything split evenly to avoid unnecessary drama down the road. Be sure to talk things out before you move in so you know exactly how you will be handling the financial aspects of moving in together. Sit down and make a list of income that each of you has, including financial aid, money from family, and jobs. Write down expenses you have, such as tuition, books, rent, groceries, and other living expenses. Make a budget based on these specific dollar amounts and decide how you will deal with money. Talking about money can be awkward and uncomfortable, but it is an important conversation in any relationship where you are living together.
Chores
Figuring out who will do what chores is another common roommate discussion. However, in a boyfriend and girlfriend roommate set-up, it can be difficult to enforce, especially if one person wants to impress the other or if one person has been dealing with a lot. It is important to keep things as even as possible to avoid arguments later. Have a whiteboard where you keep track of who is doing what. Having a visual will allow you to see how much each person is doing to keep things even. Also, try to avoid the gender stereotypes that go along with certain chores, such as cooking or repairing things. You will both need to know how to do these things, especially since if you are only in a relationship and are not married as there is a chance that you will break up.
Communication
Communication is the key to any relationship, but it becomes even more important once you are living together. When you live together, you have to keep each other in the loop of any problems around the apartment and in each other’s schedules. Also, if you get into an argument, you cannot just walk out of the apartment or house because you both live there. You have to be able to resolve your issues and talk things out, which is why it is better to wait until you are absolutely sure you have a strong relationship and that you are able to love each other, even after arguments. If you are not great at communicating yet or are not at a point where you are comfortable with being completely open with each other’s lives, you may want to hold off on moving in together until you are more open with talking about personal things. All of the other things to consider when deciding whether you should move in together or not falls on communication.
Moving in with a significant other in college is not a decision that should be made without taking time to consider the positives and negatives. However, taking these factors into consideration can help you decide if moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend in college is a good move.
What To Do When Your Roommate Unexpectedly Moves Out
Many college students have roommates to help them pay the rent and to provide some company. Roommate relationships usually work out well. But unfortunately, there are times where this relationship can be strained. One situation that can cause a major strain in the roommate relationship is if a roommate unexpectedly moves out. What should the remaining roommates do about the missing share of the rent? How should they tell the landlord? This is a frustrating situation, and it is definitely impolite to unexpectedly move out, but it still happens. In this article, you’ll find a few suggestions on what to do when your roommate unexpectedly moves out, and what to do if you want to move out.
How to protect yourself in case your roommate unexpectedly moves out
The best way to deal with this situation is to protect yourself financially and legally before it happens. Preferably, you should have signed an agreement or contract at the beginning of your lease. This contract should include a clause about what to do if a roommate unexpectedly moves out. But if you do not have this clause in your contract, it’s never too late to draft one up. This will make sure you are protected in case this happens. Your contract with your roommate and with the landlord should state a couple of things:
- How much advance notice a roommate should give to the landlord (and to the other roommates) before they move out.
- The financial responsibilities of the roommate who moves out: Do they have to pay their remaining share of the rent, or are they free of any financial responsibilities once they move out? (The latter is bad news for the remaining roommates, because they will then become responsible for the rest of the rent!)
- What will happen if they don’t meet their financial responsibilities? Are the remaining roommates and/or the landlord allowed to pursue legal action against the one who moved out?
- The roommate who moves out must provide a suitable replacement roommate. It is courteous for the roommate who moves out to provide their own replacement.
- The replacement roommate must be approved by the landlord and the remaining roommates.
- Do not try to sneak in a replacement roommate without letting the landlord know! In fact, this is grounds for eviction because it can be considered an unauthorized sublet. It is better to keep the landlord in the loop of what is going on.
- Make it clear that once the roommate moves out, they no longer have the right to live in that place.
- Some people come back to their old place thinking they still have a right to live there! Make it clear that the roommate has no rights to the place anymore, and that they must give up all their keys to the place.
Again, the best way to avoid this situation is to legally protect yourself from it. If you have a contract that spells out the procedures and financial responsibilities of a roommate unexpectedly moving out, it will soften the blow of this frustrating situation.
Another way to protect yourself is for you and your roommate(s) to be good tenants. A roommate moving out unexpectedly is technically a violation of the leasing contract, since they are breaking it early. This can be grounds for a landlord to evict everyone living in the place, and there is a chance they will take advantage of that opportunity if you are bad tenants. However, if you are good tenants, the landlord will likely not want to evict everyone. Being a good tenant means to pay the rent consistently on time, not sublet the place without the landlord’s permission, take good care of the place, and to be respectful of the neighbors. If you are a good tenant, your landlord will be more likely to help you if you ever get stuck in a sticky situation (like your roommate moving out unexpectedly).
What to do if it’s too late and your roommate has already unexpectedly moved out:
The previous tips were good ideas on how to protect yourself before this happens, but what if it’s too late? Let’s discuss what to do if your roommate has already moved out.
Read the leasing contact
Read the leasing contract and figure out what it says to do if a roommate unexpectedly moves out. If there is nothing written about that in the contract, you are out of luck. But if your contract does address this issue, follow what the contract says.
Try to contact your former roommate and make plans to move forward
- Remind your former roommate of what the leasing contract says to do if they move out. For example, if the contract states that they are responsible for the rest of their share of the rent, or that they are responsible for finding a suitable replacement roommate, let them know.
- Ask them how they plan to meet their financial responsibilities of the lease. Are they going to pay the rest of their share of the rent? If so, when do they plan to pay it? Or will you be responsible for their share now that they’re gone?
- Ask them if they plan to find a replacement roommate, and when. Generally, it should be the responsibility of the departing roommate to find their replacement and introduce him/her to the roommates and the landlord. It’s also important they find the replacement quickly, so that their room won’t be vacant for too long. This should be outlined clearly in the rental contract. But if your former roommate does not plan to find a replacement, it will be up to you.
Try to come to a deal about all these things with your former roommate, and definitely consider what your leasing contract says. Once you have contacted your roommate, you can contact your landlord. (If you can’t contact your former roommate, go directly to your landlord and explain the situation.)
Notify your landlord right away
It’s best to be upfront and honest with your landlord about these things, so after you have contacted your former roommate and have made plans to move forward, please call your landlord and notify them of what has happened. Also, let your landlord know how you and your roommate are planning to move forward. Be sure to keep your landlord in the loop about these things.
Look for a replacement roommate
If your former roommate leaves you with the responsibility of choosing their replacement, start looking as soon as possible. Before you start looking, though, think about what you want in a roommate. This will help you narrow down the list of people you can ask. For example, if you are allergic to cats or dogs, you will want a roommate who does not have a cat or a dog, and this will narrow down the list of potential roommates.
You can look for a roommate in person, but you can also use the Internet to find a roommate. Websites like Roomsurf will connect you potential roommates. Take advantage of these tools! The sooner you find a replacement roommate, the sooner you will not be responsible for the rest of the rent.
Be accommodating to your landlord
Yes, having a roommate move out is frustrating for you. But it is also frustrating to your landlord, too, so please try to be accommodating to them. Keep the place clean, help the landlord find someone to replace your former roommate. This is important, as keeping your place clean will allow your landlord to show it to potential tenants. (They can’t show off the place to potential tenants if it is trashed!) If you are accommodating your landlord, they will likely be accommodating to you, too.
If you must, talk to a lawyer
Sometimes, even if there a previous contract, people just don’t want to do their share. If you cannot get your former roommate to cooperate, consider pursuing legal action in a small court. I am not a lawyer, so I can’t give you any further advice on this. However, I can tell you to consider this CAREFULLY, because sometimes pursuing legal action is more of a hassle than it’s worth. You might be better off paying your former roommate’s share of the rent than paying legal fees. But on the other hand, this might work for you, especially if you have a contract and proof that your former roommate violated it. If your former roommate is not pulling their weight, carefully consider talking to a lawyer.
If your roommate moves out unexpectedly, you can still do these things to help ease the situation as soon as possible.
If you are the roommate who wants to move out…
Life happens, and you might be the roommate who needs to move out unexpectedly. Let’s discuss some tips to make the transition smooth for you, your former roommates, and your landlord.
Let your landlord and other roommates know your intentions as soon as possible
If you want to move out, please do not do so unexpectedly. Give your roommates and your landlord plenty of notice. Your rental contract might state how much notice you need to give before you leave; follow those guidelines! This will help them arrange for a smooth transition (and if you don’t plan to find your own replacement, this will give them time to find your replacement). In other words, communicating with your landlord and your roommates will make the situation easier on everyone.
Abide by the financial responsibilities outlined in your lease agreement
Your lease contract likely outlines your financial responsibilities if you break the lease early. Read about these responsibilities and abide by them. If you need to pay the rest of your rent up front, do it. If you cannot meet these financial responsibilities, try talking to your landlord and setting up another payment deal. It’s better to be honest with your landlord about these things. Be sure to pay what you owe, according to the contract.
Provide a suitable replacement for yourself, and introduce them to the landlord and roommates
When a roommate breaks the lease early, it is generally the responsibility of the departing roommate to find their replacement. Please don’t make the remaining roommates find your replacement. Instead, you should make the effort to find someone suitable. Find someone who can pay the rent on time, will get along with the other roommates, and will not trash the place. Once you find someone, introduce them to the remaining roommates and to the landlord. Let the landlord know this person will be taking your place. If you do not let the landlord know about your replacement, it could be considered an unauthorized sublet, which is prohibited by most rental contracts. Don’t let yourself get into any more trouble… just let your landlord know who is replacing you!
If you must break your lease early, please be kind about it. It will likely be frustrating to your roommates and your landlord, so try to be accommodating to them and make the transition as smooth as possible.
Yes, it is frustrating to have a roommate move out unexpectedly. If you have a roommate, be sure to protect yourself legally and financially with a contract. Your contract should outline what happens if someone moves out unexpectedly (the financial responsibilities and who finds the replacement). This is the best way to soften the blow if it does happen. However, if your roommate has already unexpectedly moved out, it will be too late to do this. Try to contact them and decide how to move forward according to the rental contract. Then, contact your landlord and let them know what happens. If you can’t get ahold of your roommate and they have already left, contact your landlord directly. If you can, you can even seek legal advice about this situation (but proceed with caution if you decide to take this route- it’s expensive). In other words, having a roommate move out is frustrating, but it is not the end of the world. There are steps you can take to protect yourself and to get your life back to normal as soon as possible.
What To Do If Your Roommate Breaks the Rules
Living with roommates can be tricky, especially if you have one roommate who doesn’t exactly follow the rules. When you first move into an apartment with roommates, it’s always a good idea to put together a roommate agreement.
However, no matter how many rules you set, your roommates may break them.
What do you do when a roommate breaks the rules? There are a few ways to handle this situation calmly and effectively without acting like their mother.
The Roommate Agreement
A roommate agreement is a document acknowledged and signed by all roommates outlining rules and expectations of everyone. This roommate agreement can explain chore responsibilities, rent payments, rules for guests, and anything else you would like to address with your roommates.
This also allows you to come up with consequences if certain rules are broken. It’s important to make sure that everyone is in agreement on the consequences or else they can be difficult to enforce if the time comes.
When New Issues Arise
When you write a roommate agreement, it’s impossible to foresee every situation that may arise while living with your roommates. After a few months of living together, you may have an issue that you would like to address that was not mentioned in the roommate agreement.
Addressing these issues may mean taking it case-by-case and coming up with new solutions together. It’s important to remember not to be passive aggressive and to address problems when something bothers you. You can always amend the roommate agreement if you feel strongly about adding a new rule for everyone to follow.
Confronting the Problem
Confrontation isn’t easy for everyone. It may take a lot of courage to confront your roommate about an issue. The important thing to remember is to go into the conversation calmly and willing to listen. When you approach someone in a hostile manner, they may feel like you are attacking them and nothing will be resolved this way.
Do not blame your roommate when confronting them. Using phrases like, “I feel like” and “When this happens” instead of “You are doing” or “When you do this.” Keep the conversation civil and be open to listening to their side of things.
Communication is Key
Communication is key when living with roommates. You don’t really know someone until you live with them, which can take some time. So, communicate with your roommate and let them know how you feel about certain things that go on in your home.
If your roommate’s significant other is over all of the time, rather than telling your roommate that they can’t come over as often, tell them that you feel like you need some personal space and privacy. This is more effective than telling your roommate to do something.
The method of communication is also important. While texting is the most convenient way to communicate with people, it can be the least effective. Sometimes a sentence over text can come off as hostile when it wasn’t meant to be. The best way to communicate with your roommate is to sit down and talk to them about your issue and to listen to their side of the issue.
Second Offenses
If you have already written a roommate agreement, confronted and effectively communicated with your roommate about an issue and they keep breaking the rules, then it is time to enforce some of the agreed consequences. This can be hard because as roommates, you are all responsible for yourselves and can’t “mother” your roommate. You can’t punish someone. However, you can enforce the agreed upon consequences. Since they have been agreed upon, then there shouldn’t be an issue.
Take It to the Landlord
Sometimes issues with a roommate can be bigger than just working it out amongst yourselves. If it comes to paying rent on time or utility bills, then it may be time to take it to the landlord since it will affect them. They have more power than you do as a roommate and may be able to help you resolve the issue.
Another time to get your landlord involved is if you ever feel unsafe in your home with your roommate. Your landlord can then help you to find a solution and help you feel safe.
Roommates Who Break the Rules
The best way to deal with a roommate who breaks the rules is to take preventative measures, such as writing a roommate agreement that states the rules and consequences that will take effect if these rules are broken. If rules are broken, then confront and effectively communicate with your roommate. Listen to their side of the problem and calmly express your side. If you feel that the issue is serious, then don’t be afraid to get your landlord involved, especially if it affects them.
How To Tell Your Roommate You Want To Live With Other People
By Amanda Cohen
Confrontation is never easy, especially when it’s with a friend, a colleague, a family member, or a roommate. Having a roommate at some point in your life is, usually, guaranteed: whether that be in a college dorm room, a sorority house, a post-college apartment, or any other living situation you might find yourself in after you move out of your house. However, when things might seem all well and good at first, it is possible, and sometimes even inevitable, that you will be ready to part ways with your roommate (or roommates). The question remains: how do you go about having this conversation with your roommates/roommate? There is not one perfect answer… the answer will vary depending on your situation. Here is some advice on how to have “the conversation” with your roommate/roommates that are mature, assertive, yet fair, and, most importantly, respectful.
I am a firm believer that honesty is the best policy. When telling your roommate that you want to live with other people, explain to him/her why. There are a variety of reasons as to why you might be ready to live with someone new, but here are some ways to express yourself in regards to common reasons why people move out and move in with other people:
- “Our schedules are so different and I am looking to live with someone with a similar sleeping, social, and academic/career schedule as me.”
- “We’ve lived together for so long now and I want to move in with other people just because I think it’s time to do something different.”
- “We are very opposite when it comes to how we like to maintain our apartment and deal with apartment issues. I feel like we would both be better off living with someone who is more similar to us in that regard.”
- “I haven’t been myself recently and I’m worried that it has something to do with my current living situation. I think I need to explore other options to better my mental health.”
These are by no means the only reasons why you might be ready to move in with someone else, but these are situations that I know have come up in actual peoples’ lives. The important takeaways from the four quotations above are: (1) directness, (2) honesty, and (3) respect.
Let’s talk about directness. When dealing with potentially uncomfortable conversations, it is easy to ramble and hide your point underneath a lot of unnecessary phrases and comments. The more direct you are, the more your roommate will understand and you will be less likely to have to repeat the uncomfortable conversation in the future.
Now, honesty. There is no reason to lie to your roommate. The only time a fib is acceptable is if you’ve grown to really dislike your roommate and you want to spare his/her feelings. If your decision to move out is mental-health related and you don’t want to share that with your roommate, all you have to say is that some personal issues that you don’t want to discuss have come up.
Lastly, respect. None of the four above statements were hostile nor accusatory. There is no need for blame, raised voices, or anger when you have this conversation (even if you are really upset with your roommate).
The next thing to cover is what should you do if your roommate gets sad or angry. Comfort your roommate, explain that this decision is what you have to do to maintain your overall wellbeing and that it doesn’t mean that you hate your roommate. Explain to your roommate that he/she has plenty of other roommate and housing options and that you will help him/her find a place to live and a roommate if he/she wants you to. If they start raising their voice, tell him/her that you are going to step away for a bit and let him/her process what you said and that you are willing to have a coherent, non-aggressive conversation about the situation when he/she is ready. Don’t engage in a hostile situation… it’s not worth it. If your roommate doesn’t come around and remains angry and aggressive, let them stay that way because you’ve already said your piece; there is only so much you can do.
I know it might seem scary to have this sort of conversation with someone, but if your current roommate situation is affecting you in a negative way, then you should absolutely move out. When it comes to your health and happiness, you need to take matters into your own hands and do what you need to do. However, make sure you have all your ducks in a row before you have this conversation; make sure you have alternative living plans and that you have a roommate, roommates, or a living space where you can live alone. There is no sense in having this conversation if you aren’t for sure leaving. Good luck, you got this!
Holiday Activities To Do With Your Roomie
The holiday season is already in full swing, which means that the best time of year for college students has officially begun!
How can winter break be the best time of year for a college student? The weather is cold (or at least colder). Everyone usually gets the campus bug by the end of the semester. Students are worn down and exhausted after a long, hard semester and it is not over until Finals Week is over, which is usually the most brutal week of the entire semester. And most college students go home, unable to hang out with their friends during the precious little free time they do get.
On the other hand, the semester is so close to being done, you students can almost taste it. Once you power through these sick weeks, the rough end of the semester, that awful Finals Week, you are done. And you get an almost month-long break! You get to rest and recuperate, knowing that you never have to return to the classes you just finished in the fall. And sure, you might not get to hang out with your friends, but now you get to hang out with your family, if only for a little bit. And hey, it’s been a whole semester since you really got to do that.
But probably, one of the best aspects of this time of year for college students is the making and creation of their own holiday traditions. As the fall semester comes to a close and you find yourself having more time, you get to decide how you spend it and how you want to celebrate the upcoming holidays.
Whether you are living in a dorm or in off-campus housing, this is your time to start deciding how you (and your roommates) want to celebrate the holidays. You are on your own for the first time and while you may and probably do enjoy your own family’s holiday traditions, you can start to make ones specifically for you and where you are in your own life.
You have your own little family when you are at college, most usually with your roommate. Any holiday activities you want to do, you will probably be including them in it as well. You both want to get into the holiday spirit and celebrate the holidays on your own terms before you have to return home. So, if you are looking for some holiday inspiration, then read on for some suggestions on holiday activities you can do with your roomie!
Holiday Decorating
A great way that you, your roomie, and your apartment can get into the holiday spirit is to go and shop for some holiday decorations for your home. You can go as overboard or underboard as you like (or at least as far as you and your roommate can agree on). Maybe you like simple touches and your roommate likes to cover every surface with things. Maybe you like the traditional colors of the holiday and they like to include a more eclectic color palate into their decorations. Perhaps the two of you even celebrate two different holidays during this season.
Because it is a shared space, you both want to be on the same page about how you are decorating. If you are Jewish, then you might not want to come home to study for a final only to find that every flat surface has a Santa placed upon it that is smiling down at you. And if you celebrate Christmas, you might want to make sure your roommate is really on top of their fire and safety game if they light their menorah and leave.
You also want to make sure you are on the same budget. You never want to come home and your roommate has gone shopping and decorated the entire apartment only to hand you a receipt and say, “You owe me half.” Especially if this was never discussed ahead of time.
By going shopping for holiday decorations together, you guys both have a say in what it will all look like, which holidays are represented, and, of course, how much money is spent. Shopping for holiday decorations is a huge part of the fun. Do you like classic white Christmas lights, or do you prefer flashing, colorful ones? Do you want to use a real menorah, or an electric one this year? You get to make those fun choices together, which can be a real bonding experience.
Then the actual decorating process is the next step! Whether you are a perfectionist who has to have their home design look like it is out of a magazine or if you get enough satisfaction out of throwing a few decorations around haphazardly, you get to make your apartment look the way you want it to look. And doing it with help is always preferred and you and your roommate can turn the decorating into a tradition, that you carry on each year that you live together or for you to take on as your own tradition wherever (and with whoever) you live.
***This next section is aimed at those who celebrate Christmas***
If you do happen to celebrate Christmas and your roommate does too (or at least is interested in participating in the holiday as an onlooker), then a wonderful bonding experience for you and your roommate can be centered around the Christmas tree.
The first step is to go and select your tree. You and your roomie can go together and pick out a tree that is the perfect fit for the two of you. Maybe you like a real, classic fir tree. Maybe you are not about the mess that a real tree will make, and a fake tree is a better fit for you. Whether you are going to the Christmas tree lot or down the Christmas tree aisle at the store, go together so that you are both happy with the tree that is picked. After all, it is going to be in your shared space so you both need to be happy with the choice that is made.
Then you can decorate the tree, once you have it set up in your living room. Are the two of your interested in handmaking your ornaments? Do you have ornaments from home you want to use to make an eclectic and hodge-podge design on the tree? Do you want to buy an entirely new set of ornaments and create it with both you and your roommates’ tastes in mind? This tree is a self-expression of you and your roommate, so you can have as much fun with it as you want. Pick a color scheme. Choose a style. Hang those ornaments! And have as much fun as you can while doing it.
Baking or Cooking
Another really great holiday activity to do with your roommate to get into the holiday spirit is baking or cooking! This activity is particularly awesome because just about every holiday has some kind of special food that goes along with it, so you and your roommate can find something to make no matter what holidays the two of you celebrate. You can cook something savory or you can bake something sweet—it is really up to whatever you and your roommate are craving.
Do all the steps of the activity together. Decide what you want to make. Pick the recipe that seems the most delicious (or the most manageable for your cooking skills). Go out and get the ingredients that you need (that way everyone splits and foots the bill equally). Then go home and get your cooking game on!
Then when you are done, you can enjoy the simple act of breaking bread together. Use the time to talk about your hopes and dreams for the holiday season and the upcoming year. Or you could talk about nothing important at all and just use the time to sit together and breathe. You can even invite others to come and join you for a holiday treat—after all, it is easier to cook for a lot of people than to cook only a single portion for just two.
If you are not sure what foods or recipes might be a good idea, here are some suggestions provided for you below. Each of the three major holidays of this season, Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza, each has dishes represented.
Hanukkah
-Potato Latkes
-Jelly-Filled Donuts
-Brisket
-Sweet Noodle Kugel
Kwanza
-Cheese Grits
-Black Eyed Peas
-Mustard Greens
-Apple, Marshmallow, and Yams
Christmas
-Peppermint Bark
-Christmas Cookies
-Mashed Potatoes
-Pecan Pie
Enjoy your adventures in the kitchen and be sure to try new things as well as stick to the old tried and true favorites so you can continue making your own new holiday traditions!
Present Swap
Something fun that you and your roommate can do to celebrate the holidays, as well as your fondness for each other, is to have a mini present swap. It is mini because it only between you and your roommate, but that does not make it any less special.
College students are notoriously low on funds, especially at the beginning of the holiday season because of the gift buying many feel obligated to participate in, as well as the doctors visits from being sick, the purchasing of suitable winter clothes to augment their wardrobe, and their holiday travel plans. But buying presents is not about the amount of money you spent on each item. It is about the thought behind it.
So, pick a time to swap presents with your roommate before you both truly dive into Winter Break and part ways for the holidays. You can put a cap on how much can be spent or other silly restrictions like, it has to be a gag gift, or the gift object has to start with the first letter of the receiver’s name, or even that it has to be something utterly useless to the receiver. Or you can find something really personal that you think they would truly want or need or find useful. There are so many options!
However you and your roomie want to play it, just let the gift show that your roommate (and the companionship they provide you) is important, valued, and cherished. And showing someone that you care about them is always a great tradition.
Movie Marathon
Most students find that the best way to relax is to watch a movie. And with so many college students having subscriptions to services like Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime, as well as watching at the ever-popular movie theatres, watching movies together is now one of the most affordable pastimes. And there are so many movies that you can watch to get into the holiday spirit—there are literally thousands upon thousands of movies for you to watch.
Decompress from Finals Week and watch a movie with your roomie! You can make an event out of it and go to the theatres to watch the just-released holiday movies. There are plenty coming out this season, including a new animated version of “The Grinch” and “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms.”
If you would rather stay at home and make it a comfy night in, you can also watch the following movies depending on what streaming service you have! Every film on the following list is available on at least one of the various streaming services.
- “Love Actually”
- “A Christmas Prince”
- “Eight Crazy Nights”
- “The Black Candle”
- “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”
- “An American Tail”
- “The Princess Switch”
- “The Hebrew Hammer”
- “Bad Santa”
- “The Women’s Balcony”
- “White Christmas”
- “The Producers”
Give it a try! Watch tried and true favorites or maybe something new that came out just this holiday season. Make it a movie that you will both enjoy and make it a tradition you will be happy to keep alive year after year.
Your roommate is an important part of your life when you are in college. They are often your friend, your support system, and even your family. You do not just want to hare off and forget about everything that they do for you during the semester. Take the time to hang out, be with them, and make not only traditions but memories that you can keep for a lifetime.
15 Holiday Gift Ideas for Your Roommate
In your undergraduate years at college, care packages, gifts and financial assistance from family and people alike are frequent luxuries you cherish with all your heart. Family and friends want to do everything they can to make sure you have the smoothest college experience possible and it usually works out that way! Sometimes, however, gift giving can be difficult and with all of the options out there, it can be nearly impossible to figure out what is the perfect gift for someone.
Holiday shopping as a college student isn’t necessarily easy because well, a lot of us are broke. Between tuition payments, student loans, and other expenses, many of us don’t have a lot of extra money to spend. Additionally, as a roommate, you live and share just about all aspects of your life with your other roommate, knowing them inside and out. Despite this, knowing just the right present to gift them during the holiday season can be difficult. You may ask yourself questions like, “Do they really need this?”, or “What if they already have something like this?” If you find yourself asking these questions, you’re not alone! Are you currently sharing a dorm with someone? Are you freaking out over holiday shopping for them? Unsure of a great gift to give them? Check out these 15 present ideas to gift your roommate this season!
1. Gift Cards: While gift cards may seem like a thoughtless gift, they are very much appreciated by college students, especially roommates! Whether the gift cards are to restaurants, stores like Walmart or Target, or even for online companies like Amazon, they are definitely useful and can alleviate the stress of spending money on items that they would opt out of spending money on!
2. Coffee Press/Maker: College students run on coffee, I think we all can attest to this. Especially with the spring semester coming up and academics getting tougher, coffee is a necessity in order to function, so why not gift your roommate a coffee press or coffee maker! Perhaps their coffee maker is old and needs replacing or they just don’t have one, a coffee press/maker is a great gift for roommates. They’re inexpensive, useful and last awhile! Keurig is also a great option for a roommate that is always on the run and needs coffee quick! With all of the different varieties of coffee, you can put together a fun gift pack for your roommate to try!
3. Crockpot/Slow-Cooker: School tends to occupy most of our time which means that when it comes down to meals, we can get lazy about it. One of the greatest inventions of all time (besides sliced bread) is the crockpot. With the crockpot, you can prepare your meals hours in advance, put them in and cook them slowly for hours! The great thing about this? You can work or study all day and not have to worry about throwing a meal together when it’s dinner time! This can eliminate unhealthy substitutions for meals and make life so much easier for your roommate, making it an awesome and thoughtful gift for the holidays!
4. Motivational Supplies: College can be tough and sometimes we can get discouraged when things don’t turn out how we want them to. Sometimes, you just need a mood booster to help push you through that hard day/week/month! Motivational supplies like post-it notes, folders, notebooks, pencils, etc. are inexpensive ways to keep your roommate inspired and positive while in school. These supplies will always have nice messages like “Keep Calm and Carry On” or “I Can Do This”, things that your roommate made already know, but a visual aid always helps! Not only will this help your roommate in the long run, but it will also show them that you care about them!
5. Aromatherapy oils: Not everyone gets on board with using aromatherapy oils, but I promise you they work wonders! Once you’ve used them, you’ll be convinced that they are miraculous gifts sent from the sky. A few popular oils that are great for gifts are eucalyptus, lemon, tea tree, lavender, peppermint, and oregano. According to Dr. Axe of draxe.com, aromatherapy oils contain unique and therapeutic benefits, which include: improving respiratory issues (eucalyptus oil), helping with relaxation and healing cuts (lavender oil), cleaning items (lemon oil), helping kick a cold (oregano oil), supporting digestion and boosting energy (peppermint oil), and containing anti-bacterial qualities (tea tree oil). Convinced yet? You can purchase this nice gift set of these oils for less than $20 or get one or two to put in a stocking as a stocking stuffer for your roommate!
6. Microwavable Plush Warmer: Do you usually see your roommate slumped over their desk for hours on end? Do you hear them complain of neck and/or back pain as a result? One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever gotten was a microwavable plush warmer. It's like a stuffed animal that you can heat up to help with aching muscles and cramping! They come in a variety of animals from owls to elephants so you can find the perfect one for your roommate depending on what kind of animal they like! You can get them for less than $20 at select stores, making them a perfect and inexpensive gift for your roommate.
7. Toiletries: As an adult, sometimes the things we need are the most obvious necessities but they often slip our mind! Especially while we’re in school, things like projects, homework or exams occupy our mind which can distract us getting stuff we really need. Pick your roommate’s brain or if you’re really close with them, raid their bathroom caddy or dresser to see things that they may need more of! Items such as deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, toilet paper, soap, and socks are perfect gifts for any roommate because no matter what, I guarantee you they will always need these items and will be wishing they had them once they used them up, it’s just part of being an adult!
8. A Multi-functional jacket: Whether you are freezing in the middle of winter or are caught in the rain of spring, a jacket is always a necessity. A great gift for your roommate is a multi-functional jacket, one that can be used around all seasons. Qualities to look for include water resistant, lined with fleece or another warm material and hooded. An additional thing to consider when buying a jacket for your roommate is the sizing since you’ll want it to both fit well but also be large enough to layer clothes underneath! A jacket that can last through the seasons can make commuting to class a little less discouraging, which will make your roommate happier!
9. A watch: In class or at work, we can’t always check our phones to see what time it is. Maybe your roommate has a busy schedule or maybe they just need better time management, either way, a watch is a great gift for your roommate to help make their life easier. Either a digital or analog watch is always useful for your roommate and adults in general, and the best thing is, they’re inexpensive!
10. A New Backpack: So backpacks go through a lot over the years. Two years ago you may have spilled spaghetti on it and the stain never really came out, or you used it on a camping trip and the mud tracks have stuck to it like glue. Throughout the years, backpacks can get run down but no one really wants to fork out the money to get a new one, for one they’re kind of pricey and secondly, who really wants to go backpack shopping? A new backpack can be a perfect gift for your roommate because they’re useful and functional! Plus there are so many with different patterns and colors and ones with cool pockets for tablets and laptops, making them a thoughtful gift for your roommate!
11. Succulents: One way to help your roommate freshen up their dorm room is to put different kinds of plants throughout the dorm! Not only are plants a beautiful decorative piece, but they also give your place that fresh, spring vibe. According to Silvia C. of Daily Dream Décor, “[plants] help your home get more oxygen; they bring a happy mood into any space and help increase your work productivity.” Not only are succulents inexpensive, but they are also super easy to take care of, even if you do forget about them for awhile- making them a perfect gift!
12. A fun mug: This gift goes hand-in-hand with college students’ need for coffee. With so many of us running off of coffee every day, every hour, etc. sometimes you need more than one or two mugs to change up the game! One great gift to give your roommate for the holidays is a fun mug! There are so many options to out there, which can make shopping for your roommate a breeze! Pick up on some of the things they like, whether it's their favorite animal like a sloth or llama, their favorite show or movie, or favorite phrase and go to town! Places like Target, Walmart, or even Five Below have an awesome variety of options for holiday gift giving!
13. Personalized Picture Frame: To help remember the fun memories of you and your roommate together, gift them a personalized picture frame for the holidays! Places like the dollar tree have cute frames for only a dollar, which gives you more freedom to decorate it with jewels or stickers! Just get your favorite picture of the two of you, frame it, decorate the frame and you’re done! Not only is this gift inexpensive, but it also is a great way to show your roommate that you care.
14. Fuzzy Socks: Around this time of year, the temperature drops and the chilly weather can leave us feeling cold and depressed. I’m not saying that fuzzy socks can solve your roommate’s problems, but they can make them feel cozy and comfortable during these chillier months! Just about every store has fuzzy socks for an affordable price with a bunch of cool patterns, animals, and characters, making gift giving fun and stress-free.
16. Spa Day Essentials: Just about everyone needs a good spa day every once in a while (yes, guys included)! With the stresses of school, extracurriculars, work, and social life, sometimes you just need a day to unwind and relax. Spa day essentials are an awesome gift for your roommate, showing that you care about their well-being and want the best for them! Good spa day essentials include bath bombs, face masks, body scrubs and lotions, a fluffy robe, etc. Additionally, Target, in particular, has beauty boxes that have little samples of items related to the face and body, which would make a perfect gift for your roommate in need of a day off.
Some people truly don’t get excited to do yearly holiday shopping, whether its due to the fact that there’s a lot of money spending, or crazed people, or the overall stress of it. Having a good list of holiday gift ideas before you venture out into the world of shopping and holiday deals can make your life so much easier.
A lot of people think that the holiday season is all about the quantity of gifts that you give, but it's truly about the quality and the thought that goes into the gift you’re giving to your roommate. Just the smallest of gifts can completely change someone’s mood or their perspective on life! Perhaps the greatest piece of advice I can offer is to dig deep into your heart (and not your wallet) to give your roommate something you know they will love and appreciate. It’s not about how much money you spend, or the brand name of the item you get, or how much of something you get, but the thought and the intention behind the gift you’re giving.
If you aren’t sure and still completely stressed out about what to get, just go with something easy like a gift card! In the end, I hope these ideas will keep you stress-free during the holiday season and make gift shopping a breeze! As always, good luck!
Making the Most Out of Rooming with Strangers
Roommate horror stories are nowhere near rare when it comes to discussing different experiences. There are multiple themes when it comes to these horror stories: roommates leaving dirty socks everywhere, throwing surprise parties with no prior notice, the cat that seems feral but is actually your roommate's pet. Despite the cause of the "horror" aspect, many think that things between roommates go awry just because the roommates were strangers, to begin with. There is often a common thread of how living with a stranger can go wrong so easily - you barely know the person and you are suddenly living with them and expected to get along with them from the start.
However, do not think that living with a stranger is a guaranteed start to your very own roommate horror story. Living with a stranger does not have to be the worst living situation you can find yourself in - it can actually turn out to be the best living situation you could expect. If you find yourself having to live with a stranger due to unforeseen circumstances like a canceled lease or your original roommate leaving to study abroad, here is how you can make the most out of rooming with a stranger:
Get to know them
When you are rooming with a stranger, you are going to have to be comfortable enough with them to share a living space - something that is very personal for many. This does not mean you have to be best friends with your new roommate, but you do want to be comfortable enough to have that personal connection with them. When you first get your new roommate's contact information, try reaching out to them to get to know each other. This can be anywhere from giving a smaller and written self-introduction through email or a messenger app, to arranging to meet up before moving in together.
Getting to know each other prior to moving in is helpful because it will help you feel more comfortable when you are moving in. You won't have to feel anxious about how your first conversation will go on top of moving-in stress because the first conversation or two will already have gotten out of the way prior to moving in. When getting to know each other, you may also want to talk about each other's living habits. Some questions you may want to consider asking include:
- Are you a morning or night person?
- How social are you? Do you expect to have guests over frequently?
- How often do you clean, or what is your preferred level of cleanliness?
- What are some issues that you had with previous roommates?
Accept the opportunity for more personal time:
When you are rooming with a stranger, you are not necessarily expecting to become best friends with them. Meaning, you are not expected to spend every waking moment together. Yes, you may want to cook a meal or two together every so often or sit down to watch a few movies, but you aren't expected to do everything at home with them at your side.
If you are living with your close friends, it would be harder to say no to hanging out when you live together. Time to yourself to catch up on your favorite show with a pile of snacks at your side may turn into a full-blown friend hangout that you did not expect when your roommate catches the drift of your downtime. You may face a situation where your roommates get offended when you say no to hanging out, or you may even find yourself overworked when you start saying yes to hanging out instead of spending time getting rest or doing homework.
Rooming with a stranger creates its own boundary. You can still hang out with them when you would like to, but there shouldn't be an expectation to spend an excessive amount of time with them.
You get the opportunity to experience new things:
When living with a stranger, you get the opportunity to meet someone new - someone that you may not have met if not for the fact that you had to live with them. This can mean living with someone that is a different major than you, someone from a different upbringing, etc. Depending on how social you are, rooming with a stranger can be a very big opportunity to branch out of your small circle of tight-knit friends.
If you are used to hanging out a certain cultural group, you and your new roommate can share more about each other's cultures through new traditions and cooking each other meals. Or, if you and your friends have gotten so close because you have so many shared interests and hobbies, you may not have been branching out much further than what you are used to or past your own personal interests.
Rooming with a stranger doesn't mean you have to live out the entirety of your lease in discomfort - make the most out of rooming with a stranger by seeing it as an opportunity.
6 Things to Consider Sharing With Your Roommate
If you have a good relationship with your roommate, chances are that you two may end up sharing some things. And just from living in such close proximity to one another, it’s nearly inevitable that you both would share some things, sometimes without even realizing it.
But if you want to be a little more intentional about exactly what kinds of things you two should share, it may be a good idea to draw some boundaries and come up with a list of items that each of you would feel comfortable sharing with the other. Read on for some ideas on what to consider sharing with your roommate.
1. Cleaning supplies.
A few things you and your roommate can certainly share are cleaning supplies, which may include a small vacuum, disinfectant wipes, or a broom. A vacuum is definitely convenient to have in your room -- most likely you won’t need to use it at the same time as one another, and it will take up less space than having two vacuums in the same room.
A broom and dustpan are also good things to share, particularly if there are any hardwood floors where you’re living (perhaps the kitchen or common room area), so you can easily sweep up messes.
What’s more, disinfectant wipes -- or items like paper towels and cleaning fluid -- are easy to share as well. Simply buy in bulk and keep them somewhere in your room so that you and your roommate can easily access them.
2. A mini fridge.
Even if you and your roommate are both on the campus dining meal plan, you’re sure to want some extra snacks and drinks in your room just in case. That’s where a mini fridge really comes in handy -- but instead of having two different fridges taking up a lot of space, you can have one fridge that will be big enough to hold food for the two of you.
If you’re afraid of not being able to tell whose food is whose, create some boundaries. Perhaps the top shelf could be assigned to you and the bottom shelf for your roommate; create a system that works for the both of you!
3. A TV.
Maybe everybody these days just uses Netflix instead of watching on an actual television set, but sometimes a TV can be useful. If either you or your roommate has guests over and wants to watch a movie or show on a larger screen, or even if one of you just feels like flipping through good old cable channels, a TV comes in handy. And in most cases, there’s no need to clutter up your common living space with multiple TVs, so sharing one is certainly an efficient option.
4. Decorations.
Decorations are another great thing to share between you and your roommate. If you have decorations such as string lights, posters, or anything of that sort that occupies wall space, it might be a good idea to share some of those items and coordinate who gets to use which parts of the walls. Particularly if one or both of you wants to hang up string lights, it may be beneficial to have just one of you bring them, as the string of lights will probably be long enough to go around the perimeter of the whole room.
5. Cooking supplies.
If you live in a dorm with a kitchen or perhaps an on- or off-campus apartment, you and your roommate will both need cooking supplies. Instead of each of you spending a fortune on your own cooking equipment, why not coordinate what each of you can bring or go shopping for supplies together? Doing so will not only allow you to save on costs, but also on the amount of space your stuff will take up in the kitchen.
Sharing larger items, such as rice cookers, big pots and pans, toasters, and coffee makers, is pretty doable as long as you are both respectful of each other’s belongings. Even sharing smaller items such as utensils as well as plates, bowls, and cups is manageable if you are able to identify whose stuff is whose at the end of the year.
6. Textbooks.
Beyond the belongings in your room, something else you and your roommate might want to share is textbooks. If you happen to be taking some of the same classes, this is a great way to save money, especially because textbooks are often fairly expensive. As a result, sharing one (or several) and splitting the cost could potentially do wonders for your bank account. Whether the textbook is a physical or electronic copy, you and your roommate can work out a system as to who can use it when. If both of you are up to it, you can even become study buddies for a class and use the textbook at the same time.
When it comes to sharing things with your roommate, don’t sweat it. As long as the two of you are respectful of each other and can work out a system, you’re both good to go!
